#meet twice theory is theorying

[etherealily]

ᴛʜᴇ ɢᴏʟᴅᴇɴ // ​ɴ.ᴊ [1]

Hey, guys. This is one of those Nate drafts I was talking about. Hope you like it. This is a two-part fic.

Nate Jacobs x fem!reader. SFW, but discretion advised. Masochism(?), violence, delusion.

You do NOT have permission to repost and/or translate any of my fics.

Desc. : He recognizes you.

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It's not like Nate didn't know what the fuck he was doing. 90% of the time, he was on top of shit. But then he drank. And then, shit went down.

And unfortunately, the shit that went down was the bouncer of the elite club a couple towns away from East Highland - the one that was known for being freqented by A-listers and the who's who of who's disgustingly wealthy.

Of course, he didn't stay down for long or he'd have been a shitty bouncer, but the element of surprise had really worked out in Nate's favour. No one expects a tipsy high school kid to be able to take down the absolutely ripped bouncer - who was probably the most dedicated to their job because of the celebrities inside - but they really should expect it.

Because Nate Jacobs with alcohol in him was a fucking force to be reckoned with.

With every punch to the face, with every sharp taste of his own blood that touched his tastebuds, he'd never felt more alive. He laughed, reveled in it, even.

"Who the fuck do you think you are, kid?"

Hell if he knew. Right now, though, seeing how frustrated this jacked, violent, adult man was getting when he didn't respond to his punches was making him feel like a god. He must look both pathetic and badass, his head hitting the pavement with an oomph continuously.

The crowd forming around them did jackshit for him, just like in the movies. They just watched the blood. They just observed the bruises form. The door to the club was visible to him each time the guy pulled back and the crowd shifted slightly - until it opened.

"Jesus Christ, Ray, what the hell is going on here?"

"Ma'am, this kid jumped me."

"So?"

"I- ma'am, so I gave him a taste of his own medicine." His fingers still gripped Nate's collar, bloodthirstiness pooling in his eyes. But Nate's eyes were nowhere near his - they were on you. God, in this drunken haze, his mind couldn't seem to place a name to your lovely face, but it definitely knew it.

"Not in front of the club, Ray, God, you're so fucking dense!", you scolded him, your fingers gesturing at the side of your head, clearly absolutely ticked off.

The dazzling gold of your dress shimmered in the bright lights of the street outside the club, almost blinding him. Her name, her name?

Look at me, look at me, look at me, his brain pleaded, but it seemed you were not a mind reader.

"Sorry, ma'am, I was just-"

"Who the hell is he, anyway?", you asked, eyes finally torn away from Ray and trained on Nate.

He was dirt. He was mud. He was a rotting apple. He was nothing under your gaze, and he fucking loved it.

"Dunno.", scoffed Ray, as he pulled off him, standing up. Nate remained on the floor. "Some booze-filled moron."

"The fuck did you just say?", sputtered Nate, coughing up blood in the process.

"Ray, are you fucking insane? You beat up some random kid enough to make him cough out blood?"

"These high schoolers from the neighbouring towns are the insane ones, ma'am. Absolute psychos. They show up shitfaced and ask to come in, picking fights if they can't. This one is worse, he just up and jumped me."

You stared down at Nate as you listened, and he couldn't fight the feeling that slowly, an opinion was forming in your head. An opinion of him. And one that wasn't just him as dirt, insignificant and extremely forgettable. It was one of him as a manic alcoholic.

"Fucking lunatics out here.", you mumbled, patting Ray on the shoulder, sympathetically. "Make sure he gets home."

"I don't even know which town he's from, ma'am."

"Find out."

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The interrogation was fruitless.

Nate was too busy blacking out to even be declared conscious , let alone give any idea of his origins.

So, out there, he sat. Next to Ray, fading in and out, being given water, both to drink, and sprinkled on his face, until the last of the guests had arrived, and the super-elite party had seemed to begin, finally.

And the door opened again, behind them. Ray stood up. Nate thought he stood up too, but he was still just sitting there, pathetic, bloody, and beaten up. Every sound felt muffled to him, your voice from behind him, Ray's voice from in front of him.

"Why is he still out here?" The angel. You.

"He isn't telling me shit, ma'am. Except that he was trying to get in because he lost some bet."

"Get him in, we'll get some food in him.", you sighed, gazing back down at him. Dirt. Mud. Inconsequential. Useless. Nothing. Manic, nothing alcoholic.

Ray scooped him up from under his arm, leaning him against his shoulder. "There we go, kid, c'mon."

Nate groaned, his eyes trying desperately to stay open as they fell on the luminous sign above the establishment : The Golden.

God, the amount of times he and his friends had tried to get in, since they were thirteen was absolutely insane. If only he'd have known all it took was being shitfaced and stupid to get in, he'd have done that a long time ago.

After all, shitfaced and stupid was his default state.

The sounds that were barely murmurs from the pavement outside were devastating roars from inside. A song everyone was screeching along to boomed overhead, overshadowing every thought in his head, the lack of lighting was accounted for by fluorescent wristbands that every celebrity in there wore, and they moved around as people danced, so fast he almost got whiplash.

Basically, the club was doing nothing for his hangover but exacerbation.

"Booth. There."

Ray deposited him in the booth, which he slid into quite pathetically, though now, his consciousness was more in his grasp. The crimson still streaked his face.

"What's your name, dude?"

"WHAT?", he yelled, over the screams of a particularly annoying group of models.

"Name.", you mouthed, waving Ray off before sipping your drink. Vodka spritz, he noted. Classy.

"Nate. Nate Jacobs."

"Nate Jacobs, you're an absolute dumbass, you know that?"

"Yes, ma'am."

You chuckled, looking away from him to the DJ, to the hordes of people having the time of their lives. Nate did, too. He wasn't sure if he saw what you saw, because to his eyes, it was spoiled assholes acting like they couldn't do the same shit in a normal club.

You seemed to see something else, though. He needed to know what.

"What was the bet?"

Nate's eyes tore away from the assholes and ran back to you. "Make out with a guy or fuck a celebrity."

"What?"

"Yeah, of course I didn't choose the first one."

"Which celebrity were you planning to fuck?"

"Oh, 100% Mia Thomas."

"She's a cunt."

"So? Hit and quit."

"Trust me, not with her, you can't."

Noted.

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Hangovers and high school do not mix well. Case in point : Nate Jacobs. Sleeping it off as soon as he got home should have helped, but it did not. He sat there in the back of the class, clutching onto the sides of his desk till his knuckles became white. "Ugh." His teacher droning on about the fucking World War didn't help, it just set his teeth on edge.

"The fuck is he? Where the fuck is he?"

Nate's head lifted up painfully - he felt like he was being stabbed from the inside. His eyes narrowed as they tried to handle the amount of light coming in, adjusting to the unnecessarily, obnoxiously bright classroom around him.

Every single pair of eyes in there seemed to be on him, and for a moment he wondered whether his eyes were actually bleeding.

But then, the eyes all simultaneously turned to the doorway. An angel.

Stood there with a cigarette between your fingers and your piercing gaze running wildly across the room in search for someone, you were terrifyingly ethereal. He was actually 90% sure you were a hangover hallucination.

Phones were whipped out, recording, and boys wolf-whistled. "Nate, there you are, the fuck are you doing in here?" Uh, school?

He couldn't speak. The most he could do was sit up, slightly, but even that caused his head to bludgeon him.

"C'mon.", you called, pointing a thumb at the door. "Let's go, big guy. Now."

"Excuse me, you can't just come into class and-"

"Kindly shut the fuck up. I'm so fucking pissed right now I would actually burn you."

A psychotic angel.

As the door slammed behind him, something told him this wasn't going to be like one of those movies where you tell him you want to fuck the shit out of him.

"I'm going to ask you this once, and once only. You lie to me, I will put a hit on you."

Did you know how much you were turning him on right now? You had to, right?

"Did you, or did you not, talk to the press after you left The Golden?"

"The press? No. I didn't talk to the press." He almost laughed. He'd remember a bunch of mics and cameras in his face.

"Did you talk to anyone?"

He shrugged. "I talked to my friend McKay, my dad, my broth-"

"A skeevy short guy with glasses and a power suit?"

He closed his eyes, willing away the pounding in his head and trying to conjure up some memory. Yes. Yes, he vaguely recalled one such character waddling by him, asking him unnecessary amounts of questions, before he could slump into the cab you'd called for him.

"Yeah, but-"

"But?"

"I dunno, he was just a guy, he didn't have a camera or anything!"

"Rule number one of being a celebrity-adjacent, Nate?", you spat, and he grimaced. "Shut. The. FUCK. Up about us. Okay?"

He wanted to argue he wasn't a celebrity-adjacent, but he was pretty sure you weren't done.

"You know what the press is saying, now? Because of you? Apparently I fucked you and then had you beat up."

Whoa.

"What? But I didn't even talk about sex to him!", he whined. He didn't want you to look at him like he was an idiot! He didn't want you to be mad. He wanted to be dirt under your gaze, not fucking... shit!

"Doesn't matter! HOW FUCKING IDIO-", you cut yourself off, and Nate wanted to believe it was because you were being considerate about his hangover, but you were probably just trying not to waste energy on him. "Okay. You're lucky that there were cameras to disprove that shit, Nate, but I swear to god, stay away, okay?"

From... you? The angel? No, no, no.

"What?" His voice was the least masculine he'd ever heard it to be, but you know what? If you wanted him pathetic, he was already doing what you wanted.

"Stay away from The Golden. You don't belong there. It's not your world."

That should've offended him more than it actually did.

The fact that you were looking, sorry, glaring at him did soften the blow, though.

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TWO MONTHS LATER

"It's a birthday, Nate, c'mon."

"Look, she's a fucking whore, Maddy, you know it. She's rich, yeah, but-"

Nate almost banged her head into the table when she began to laugh.

Nate couldn't wrap his head around that stupid thing in his life called his luck - probably because it was non-existent - because what the fuck? Who knew Maddy's stupid ass babysitting job would somehow lead him back to the memory he'd been wanting to bury deep within him?

Fate's a bitch. And so were you.

"Her being rich has something to do with this because...?", she mused, gently wrapping some hair in her flat iron while glancing at him through the mirror.

"Because?", he sputtered, ready to actually write it down in case her slow brain still didn't get it. "She's also, as I said, a whore! She'll invite every rich boy in the country to her birthday party!"

"You haven't even fucking met her. She's, like, a celebrity. She has to keep up appearances.", informed Maddy, dilligently, like it was her job or something. Poor, gullible, starstruck Maddy. "She's only inviting rich boys because she has to. She told me herself that sh-"

"This ain't a fucking Disney movie, Maddy. You can't be the quirky normal girl who's BFFs with a public figure. It doesn't work like that."

"Normal? Normal?" She turned, raising a brow, almost daring him to repeat himself.

"No, Maddy, don't fucking lose it over a word. I can't do that shit today, I got fucking finals coming up."

"Why do you even hate her so much?"

"She's rich. And a whore."

And I totally embarrassed myself in front of her and I want to kill myself every time I see her on TV.

"You said that already. You don't even know her. You haven't even met her. She doesn't even know I have a boyfriend.", she said, before correcting herself in response to his incredulous glare. "I mean, she doesn't know we're back together."

"Exactly. How close are you guys if you don't find her trustworthy enough to tell her you're with someone?"

"I just don't want to burden her with-"

"Bullshit , Maddy, bull-fucking-shit. She has no burdens. You could tell her you have cancer, it'll just bounce right off her empty head."

"She has so much shit on her plate, and she's constantly stressed out, Nate. So don't even go there.", she warned, checking her lipstick one last time before she began to slip into the 'outfit'.

"You know what she has on her plate? Fucking filet mignon and wagyu steak."

She chuckled, shaking her head as he zipped her up. "You could come, you know? Not like you care about studying anyway."

"I'm not coming to a fucking twee party with wealthy twinks dressed in Balenciaga or something."

"Twinks never wear Balenciaga. That's for strippers."

Now it was his turn to chuckle. "Yeah, sure whatever. I'll buy you anything you want, Maddy, okay? Don't fuck some hot rich twink who's still in the ridiculously expensive closet.", he cautioned, turning her around to face him.

She rolled her eyes. "If I do?"

"I'll fuck your rich whore friend." The fact that his thumb rubbed against her cheek actually meant that he was being serious.

"Y/N wouldn't fuck you if her fortune depended on it.", scoffed Maddy, kissing him on the cheek before throwing him the keys that sat next to his wallet, on her dresser. "Let's go, chauffeur."

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"Maddy! You're here! You look amazing!", you exclaimed, as Maddy ran up to you to hug you. "God, I missed you."

"Happy birthday.", she whispered, squeezing you once before letting go. "Maybe now you can....", she teased, nudging your elbow.

"Oh, come on, Maddy, I'm not going to go sleep with Chris Evans, now, for fuck's sake."

"Why?", she whined. "You know him, and it's finally legal."

You rolled your eyes. "Not everyone finds the same guys as you hot, okay?"

"You're fucking blind if you don't think Chris Evans is hot."

You leaned down, slightly, to whisper. "Why's your chauffeur getting out?"

"Oh, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.", she giggled excitedly, tugging you along to meet him. "This is my boyfriend."

You almost fucking banged her head on the pavement. "No, Maddy, not the toxic guy again.", you muttered, so only she could hear. She waved you off. Poor, gullible, lovestruck Maddy.

"Hey. Y/N, right? Happy birthday, I guess."

FUCK. Fuck, this guy? The one who bloodied up your best bouncer? The one who almost cost you your career? That dumbass?

You could have sworn he glared. "Yeah, thanks.", you nodded, extending your hand out. He looked at it, then up at you in amusement for a fraction of a second, before taking it. "Nice to meet you, your highness. I'm Nate."

Not another fucking jokester.

"Funny.", you replied, dryly. turning to Maddy. "Your boyfriend coming in?"

Please say no.

"I'm right here, just fucking talk to me. Or do you need fucking butlers to do that for you?"

Based on what Maddy had told you about him, you'd expected that.

"Nate, shut the fuck up.", snapped Maddy, through clenched teeth. "Sorry, babe, he's stressed 'cause of finals."

"I'm sorry, sir, do you have a problem with me?"

"You won't give me the fucking decency of talking to me like a human being, but then, when I call you out on it, you get all polite and all 'Sir', on me, like a cowardly fucking cunt !"

"NATE!"

Maddy's voice cut through the air like the knife that Nate guessed you were fantasizing slitting his throat with right about then.

The music continued to blare from inside the house, but the silence was louder. "I will...", you began, but what the fuck does one say after that? "I will... get you guys drinks."

"No, I'm not fucking staying, you kidding me?"

"Nate.", hissed Maddy, threateningly.

Fine. What-fucking-ever.

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"This food sucks ass, Maddy."

"Ooh, you see that guy over there? The one Y/N's talking to?"

"Looks gay."

"He's not. Apparently, he's one of the most eligible bachelors in the world. Super rich. And he has a thing for Y/N."

"I wonder why.", he sneered, rolling his eyes, trying his best not to imagine what it would be like to break the stupid fucking chandelier above his head.

"He's super rich, Nate. He doesn't need her money."

"I was talking about her tits."

"Nate, if you're jealous, just say so.", sighed Maddy, though the amusement was quite clear in her voice.

"Jealous ?", he muttered, rolling his eyes. Maddy was amazing, but she was also unbelievably perceptive. "Of what?"

"Her life."

Maddy was really pissing him off. When the fuck did she become so smart?

"Okay, so she's rich. Big whoop. It's all Daddy's money."

"First off, she's got a career of her own, y'know? And second off- so? Daddy's money or not, it's more money than you'll ever have. Than we'll ever have."

"How do you even breathe normally around these people without sounding too poor?", he scoffed, downing his drink as he glared at you, giggling away while wearing your Dior bullshit.

"Fake it till you make it, I guess.", shrugged Maddy, not at all answering his question.

She didn't get it.

She was wearing something ethereal. He was in his fucking jeans and a tank top.

Your words echoed in his head, "it's not your world."

"Do you even know anyone else besides the birthday girl?"

"I don't, actually, no."

"So Y/N ditched you.", scoffed Nate, rolling his eyes as he sipped his drink. Holy fucking shit, the liquor was bomb. "Typical."

"You don't even fucking know her, okay?"

"Hey, Mads, all okay over here?", you asked, smiling as you went around your rounds of checking up on your huge guest list.

She nodded, before her eyes travelled back to Harry. She tipped her glass slightly in his direction. "So, how's it going with you and pretty boy over there?"

"Oh my god, was it obvious?"

"Just look at his fuck-me-till-I-die-eyes, girl! Yes, it was obvious!"

Nate hoped he was good at hiding his eye-roll.

"Yeah, well, you know, whatever. He's just-"

"If you say 'just a friend', I'm pouring this champagne on your head.", warned Maddy.

"He's just... sexy. And that's all he has going for him. No... sparks, you know? No... flair. Just a dick and abs.", you laughed, and Maddy joined in, watching you sip your drink.

"And guys are the 'objectifiers'? Good to know."

"Okay, seriously dude, what the fuck is your proble-"

Maddy shook her head, snapping her fingers in your face. "Sh. Let it go."

"No, I'm not fucking letting it go, Maddy, he can't just come to my birthday, and comment on every fucking thing I do!"

"Well, then, maybe I should leave! This isn't my world, anyway!"

The fuck was your problem? It's like you got offended at every single thing anyone said, and they had to bend over backwards apologizing because you were rich? No fucking way.

"Yeah, you should!"

"Come on, Maddy, let's go.", grumbled Nate, clenching his jaw as he grabbed Maddy's arm.

"Maddy, you're staying!", you ordered, glaring.

"The hell you are.", he growled, tugging her along.

"Maddy, stay !"

The party watched him and suddenly, he was getting beat up in front of the club all over again, but this time, he was the aggressor.

Fine. Whatever. Nate had at least an iota of self respect.

"See you at school, Mads.", he scoffed.

The glass in his hand made contact with the floor, shattering into a million little pieces.

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SIX MONTHS LATER

"Fuuuck.", he groaned, fistfuls of his hair spewing out from the gaps between his fingers.

"She's not fucking dead. Just pay her."

McKay better have fucking life insurance, because he was about to stab him.

"I shouldn't have fucking drank, I shouldn't have fucking drank...', he muttered, slamming his hand down on the steering wheel as he fixed his eyes in front of him, at the car he'd almost run off the cliff.

He heard the distinct sound of a car door slam, and out you walked, indignant - and rightfully so.

"Dude, dude, it's that Y/N chick, the actress girl.", hissed McKay, nudging him in the elbow. "She'll fuck us up in court, dude."

"Yes, I fucking realise that. Act cool, act cool."

YOU? YOU? Why the FUCK did it have to be YOU? Was karma real? Or was the universe just trying to fuck him up?

"I'm always cool, man."

Nate's eyes flicked from your car to your approaching figure. Why the fuck were you in East Highland?

You threw your hands up in frustration as he lowered his window, and, in a drunken haze, his eyes. You, thankfully, didn't notice. "What the FUCK was that, dude, huh?"

"Sorry, I just... lost control."

"Wait-Nate? UN-believable.", you scoffed, running your hands through your hair in frustration. HIM? HIM? Why the FUCK did you have to deal with HIM tonight? And then you saw his face. "Are you wasted?"

No, no, he was supposed to be good at hiding this shit. But he figured you'd be good at seeing through bullshit, seeing as bullshitting was your entire career.

"No, what? Two respectable citizens like us?", he asked, trying his best to look offended, but it's hard when you're staring into the eyes of someone who could fuck up your life with a signature.

"Bullshit. You're fucking wasted, aren't you?"

"What are you, a cop?" He restrained himself from adding a lewd comment about you putting him in handcuffs.

"I loved that movie you made recently- Starshine Valley.", declared McKay, matter-of-factly. "It was fucking fantastic."

Oh, yeah, Nate had watched it with him. The fact that you'd also directed it was news to him. Your 'country girl' outfit in that was, in Nate's head at least, equivalent to Leia in the fucking gold bikini.

Okay, whatever, not like Nate gave a shit. Right now, he was focused on McKay. McKay and his slur. His fucking slur. No, no, no!

You ran your hand over your face, palpably exhausted. "Okay, here's what we're going to do.", you began, trying your best to not show how much you wanted to tip their car over the bridge right now. "We're going to call the police-"

"No, we're not! Please, I'll make it up to you."

"You'll make it up to me? You almost drove my $500K car off a cliff!"

Jesus Christ. "Please, please, not the cops, we just... I've got a clean record so far, I don't wanna... please."

It came as a huge surprise that Nate's record was clean, but whatever.

"You should've thought of that before you-"

"Please, I have college to think of, my family-"

"FUCK! Okay. No cops."

"Thank you, thank you."

"Just don't fucking drive if you're drunk, ok? Where are you guys even going?"

"Back into town."

"East Highland?"

Nate almost laughed. What other fucking town was in that direction?

"Yeah, yeah, we are. You're going there?"

Please let this be a Disney movie. Please let her come back and join high school after a life of spoilt stardom. Please let me get to 'accidentally' throw a football at her pretty little head during practice. Please.

"Yeah, visiting my folks before I go out to Scotland to shoot.", you mumbled, running your hands through your hair again. For some reason, this drove him absolutely crazy. In a good or bad way, he didn't know. "Need a ride?"

Oh, yeah. In that car? Fuck yeah.

"What about our car?", asked McKay, stupidly. When asked whether you need a ride in a $500K car, you accept. You don't think about your shitty ass car.

"I'll come back and get it for you guys, I guess."

"You would? You'd do that for us, Emily?"

Why the fuck did McKay make a reference to Starshine Valley? What a fucking nerd. Not to say Nate wasn't about to make the exact same one.

"Shut up and get out."

-------

"Thanks again for not getting us busted."

"Don't fucking drink and drive, guys, okay? Get in your houses. Your car'll be back here by morning."

"And where will you be?", asks Nate, tilting his head.

"Oh, no, no, this isn't a fucking rom-com. This wasn't a meet-cute."

"I'm just saying, if we wanna settle things about the damage to your car..."

"There's no way to settle things without the law getting involved, and, for the sake of your criminal record, I think you should just leave it at that.", you scoffed, rolling your eyes as you pull out of his driveway.

"Fuck, dude.", muttered McKay after they watch you leave. "Fuck."

"She's such a knockout."

"Total smokeshow.", nodded McKay, in agreement. "But you know she was lying, right?"

"What? About our car?"

"Nah, about where she was going. She isn't from here. This ain't her hometown. If it was, we'd have seen her growing up, yeah?"

Nate almost killed himself right there. How drunk do you have to be to miss that?

"You're saying she's not meeting her folks?"

"I'm saying she ain't even staying in East Highland."

"Then where the fuck is she going?"

McKay groaned, as if Nate was the slowest fucking guy in the world. "You know that super-elite superstar club a few towns away?"

The one he'd tried getting into when he was shitfaced a couple months ago.

"The Golden? You think she's going there?"

"You saw what she was wearing? Who the fuck meets their parents wearing that ? Who's that stupid?"

Evidently, Nate, because he'd actually believed you.

And now, he felt the urge to get even more shitfaced and stupid.

He wanted to follow you back into The Golden.

The question was , would he?

[t.b.c]

[bloos-bloo]

I’m locking in

(I read one chapter of the book I need for class and fell asleep for two hours)

[the-meme-monarch]

*Repeating 'I am not immune to propaganda.' while looking at your blog*

GOOD the more people i can convince that scc are actually really charming characters the better i think

[stairset]

For the record I never thought Marrok was actually gonna be anybody important. Star Wars fans have a tendency to assume every new character who has a cool helmet is secretly someone we know but I think if they actually wanted us to think Marrok was someone we know they probably would've actually focused on him at all and given him more than one or two lines of dialogue. Sometimes characters are just there to be cool looking jobbers and that's fine.

[magical-girl-04]

Am I aroace or have I just been awake too long?

[neverendingford]

.

[gaysindistress]

Things that I feel like would happen when you’re in a relationship with Simon Riley.

Simon Riley masterlist

1. First off he hates the word ‘boyfriend’.

Maybe it’s because he’s in his mid thirties or something but he can’t stand being called your boyfriend. He’s more than that but also not at the same time. You live together, have access to each other’s bank accounts (which is only because he hates it when you try to fight him about him giving you money), and you’re each others emergency contact. He thinks of himself as your husband. The man wears a silicone ring when he’s home and a necklace with the ring that’s totally not a wedding band when he’s working. Price has seen the chain once or twice and smirks, shooting him a knowing look but never says a word.

Simon cannot stand it when people get nosy and want to know what your relationship status is. You’re together and that’s all that matters. No one needs to know that you’re the beneficiary of his will and life insurance policy or that he’s put you on all of his accounts. No one needs to know that he buys you anything you want but has only ever bought you two rings; a thin gold band with a flower engraved on it and its twin a matching emerald ring. No one needs to know that when he gifted them to you, there were tears and promises of safety, love, and happiness whispered against feverish skin. No one needs to know that he has your name woven into his chest tattoo.

No one needs to know any of that because your relationship is between him and you only.

2. You are not some submissive little house wife. You are a strong independent woman and he prefers it that way.

I know this one goes against what most people say but hear me out on this. Simon has been independent since birth practically. He’s only had himself to count on for years. Even in the military, he’s only been able to rely himself. Sure the others watch out for him but if it came down to it, he’s the only one who’s going to get himself out alive.

The thought of someone else relying on him in that way is terrifying. He can’t even fathom what it would be like to look at another person and fully trust them in that way. Half the time he feels like he can’t even be trusted to take care of himself let alone another human. In theory a sweet docile housewife is great with the meals and clean house but not for him. He needs to know that you can hold your own. He needs to know that you can be independent and carry on without him if something happened while he was working. He needs to know that you will be okay if he doesn’t come back.

You have to be okay without him no matter how much it pains him to think about it.

Like I said before, he’s made you the beneficiary of everything so he knows you’ll be set financially but that’s not enough. He’s made Price promise to keep an eye out for you. He’s made you promise to let Price do that and you agreed because it’s Simon who’s asking but you’d tell anyone else to fuck off.

In addition to all of that, he’s installed the best security system the government has to offer in your house. You have a very expensive and large safe in your shared closet that he’s instructed you to only open if you feel unsafe. While you might not like it, you agree to go shooting with him so he can sleep at night knowing that you could protect yourself if he’s not home. He’s gone as far as to make sure you have all of the licenses and certificates that are needed to legally own firearms in the UK.

He’s not leaving any opportunity for you to be vulnerable or have your ‘safety checks’, as he calls them, taken away.

3. Simon Riley is a godless man…until he meets you.

Now this is entirely my own headcannon with no evidence to support it so bear with me.

Simon had a shitty childhood where his mom would pray to a god who never listened and his dad would shout verses at him when he was drunk. God was a mythical figure that he was told stories off with nothing to show for it. He did believe at one point but then his dad never got better, his mom wore bruises of every shade, and his brother found comfort in drugs.

He found himself praying when he was being tortured by the Mexican cartel. Between the flashbacks of his abusive past, he prayed to a god who had failed him so many times before to help him. He prayed again as he dug himself out of that Texas grave with the major’s jaw bone. He wailed his prayers when he found his family executed after Sparks tried to kill him.

After that he deemed himself a Godless man. Years of praying had passed with nothing. This god had decided that Simon was not worthy of a miracle so why would he continue to worship him?

That was until he met you. He finds himself praying before every mission, every time he has to leave you, every time he’s on his way home, and just about any other time he thinks of you. He doesn’t know what exactly he’s praying for other than for you to be there when he gets back.

He whispers his prayers to an absent god against your skin as he worships your body, soul, and heart. He promises to be devoted to you until his last breath and vows to find you again in whatever afterlife awaits you. He pledges to find solace in you and only you when his haunting nightmares return. He makes an oath to your heart that it will never weather another storm alone again for his will take whatever beating that comes your way. He shows you that he will love you in the same manner as a Hozier song; putting you above all else because you have become his religion, his faith, his beliefs, his life.

You have become all that he is and he thanks the god he once believed in for you. He prays again but to you, his heart, his love, and his beacon through the enteral storm of life.

[charliemwrites]

Hahahaha good morning I had the wildest dream last night so I’m going to inflict it on all of you:

(I’m not done with keeper/kept. Just had to get this out)

Warnings for obsessive/possessive behavior, unhealthy and semi-one sided relationship, not-quite-dark John price.

John Price who decides it time he has a wife. Not retiring, god no! He’s not done yet. But his home is lonely when he’s on leave; he’s getting sentimental as he gets “older”. So, he wants a wife.

In theory, it sounds like just what he wants. A pretty warm thing snoozing in his bed when he gets home at ass o’clock in the morning. Someone to fret over new scars and fresh bandages. Someone to fuss at him for “taste testing” meals and wrinkle their nose at his cigars.

In practice, it’s not so easy. If it was, he reckons he would have been married by now. Good thing he’s already got the perfect candidate picked out.

You own a small business in his town. Not fabulously wealthy, but comfortable and independent. Something to keep you busy while he’s away but you make your own hours so your schedule it flexible to see him when he has infrequent leave.

And he adores you, knows that you’ve got more than a little crush on him. You smile and blush and reciprocate his interest, have only refrained from perusing anything because you didn’t think he was serious. But oh, he is.

One day you say something particularly charming and he says, “marry me.”

He’s been dropping these little jokes for a while now and you always start laughing because it’s just the kind of dramatic humor you love. Today you say something different than your usual overdramatic “oh but it could never work, captain.”

Today you say, “if only.”

How pathetic is it that you’re holding a candle for a man you’ve never even gotten a coffee with? Your family laments that your can’t spend your whole life married to your job. That they want grandchildren and nieces/nephews, someone to tell embarrassing stories about you to on holidays. You used to roll your eyes, but the prospect doesn’t feel so obligatory anymore.

Anytime you imagine it, it’s John Price there. You’ve stopped trying to imagine it for your heart’s sake.

Except a week later he’s sweeping into your shop and dropping a kiss on your cheek. An unusual greeting, but maybe he’s in a good mood. His hand lingers on the small of your back while you show him the new product that just came in.

You live above your shop and one day he shows up at the door with a bottle of wine, telling you he could use some good company. You’re shocked and confused but he looks like an amalgamation of every heartthrob in a hallmark or romcom you’ve ever “ironically” enjoyed. You invite him in.

By mid morning, he’s had you in every room of your apartment. Ate you out slow and greedy on the counters. Bent you over the dining table. Bounced you on his cock on your couch. Fingered his cum out of you in the bathtub. And absolutely ruined you twice over in your own bed.

He even changes the sheets before the two of you pass out that final time. And when you finally do wake up, he’s taken the initiative to brew coffee and make breakfast. It’s like a dream.

He fucks you against the door before he leaves.

When he’s deployed again, he calls you every night. You don’t expect it the first time, but it’s a sweet gesture to show things aren’t ruined. You’re not expecting the second time either and have to call him back when you climb out of the shower. The third time you wait for it, but still startle a bit when his name pops up on the screen.

He calls you every night he can while he’s away. You don’t know what to make of it.

Then one day you come back from errands to see movers in the yard. You think it’s some kind of mistake until John meets you at your car.

“Fire in the next building over,” he explains. “Their insurance will cover all the damages but it’s not safe to stay in your place. Mine’s just up the road. Figured you could stay until it’s sorted out.”

You want to be annoyed, and you almost are. But the overwhelm of nearly losing everything - only to have all the stress already handled and the important, nerve wracking decisions smoothed over? You just take the good luck.

To thank John for his generosity (and to fill the void of not running the shop) you bustle around his too-big house. Cook meals, keep things tidy. Keep John company when he manages to snag you from your gratitude-induced work.

He spends hours fucking you nice and slow, whispering things you barely remember in your ear. That you’re perfect for him, so sweet like a little wife, that he’d come home to you for the rest of his life. You kiss him quiet and rock back against him when it starts sounding too tempting.

Eventually, the repairs on your shop/apartment are done. It feels like a rude awakening to a pleasant dream. Instead of moving your things back, John moves more things in. When you tell him that you appreciate his kindness, but you should probably get back to your own space, he gets an odd look. Asks what you mean when this is your space.

And the trap springs closed.

“John,” you half-laugh, shaking your head. “We’re not actually married you know?”

“Not last I checked.”

The marriage certificate gets framed in the bedroom you’ve been sharing for a month. You storm out and stay in a hotel. He lets you for three days before coming to retrieve you. When you try to be stubborn, he gives you an exasperated look (as if you’re the one being unreasonable) and politely asks that you not make a scene by forcing him to carry you of there.

For your own reputation, you comply, glowering out his car window the whole ride to his house. Try to give him the silent treatment which lasts about 30 minutes before he’s got you moaning and whining on his cock.

He drives you to the shop in the morning and picks you up at night. Anytime you try to put your little foot down, he just scoops you off them. The neighbors start cooing that he’s such a good man. You try not to scream.

When he’s finally deployed again, you try to move all your things back to your home. Except the movers apologetically tell you that they can’t trespass on John’s property.

Fine, you’ll do it yourself. Somehow.

You pack two suitcases and some of your cookware. Load it all up in a rental - because John sent your damn car into the shop - and trying to get comfortable in your own flat again.

Except it’s all wrong. The scent of smoke still lingers, it’s cold because the heating hasn’t been turned on yet this year. Half your things are gone and there’s no food in the fridge or pantries. You tough it out. Buy a ready-made meal and new bed linens and pillow. Sleep in a bed too cold even with the heat finally on.

When John calls, you don’t answer. He sends a text that simply reads “I love you.” You toss your phone across the room.

The next night, when he calls again and you don’t answer, he sends a “stay safe, love.” You spend twenty minutes with fingers poised over the keys. Chug a glass of wine and send back a neutral “you too, John”.

When he calls on the third night, you pick up, bark a sharp “knock it off” and hang up. Another text that he was so happy to hear your voice.

Another call, you pick up and demand “what are you doing?” He chuckles on the other end. “Calling my darling wife. I miss you.” You believe him. That’s the worst part.

When he gets back, you ride the long, long river of denial right up until he’s at your door, eyebrows arched. “Really, love,” he hums, “you didn’t have to come all the way over here just because you missed me.”

You want to hit him. You storm off to your bedroom instead. He wanders the house. You hear him clattering in the kitchen and wandering around the living room. When you hear the door close, you think he’s finally left and given all this up.

Twenty minutes later, he’s casually removing the door (sans hinges) and gathering you up. When you get back to his house, he carries you inside and fucks the tantrum right out of you in the shower, growling that you don’t smell like home anymore.

When you wake up from your three-orgasm induced nap, he’s washing the clothes you took to your old flat. On your left hand is a pretty diamond with “JP” carved into the band.

At the store, people start calling you “Mrs. Price”. The neighbors (John’s neighbors) invite you over as “the Prices”. You glare at him when he starts looking too smug about it.

When he’s set to deploy again, he sits you on the kitchen counter, caging you in with arms.

“Don’t make me come get you this time,” he warns, pressing kisses along your jaw. “This is gonna be a rough one. I just want to see you when I get home.”

It’s a warning that you know to heed. You don’t try to leave this time. When he calls, you answer, rattling off stupid details about your day. You’re shocked to hear him remember names and dates and tasks with everything else hes got going on. Promises he’ll deal with the creep at the post office when he gets home.

“And… you are coming home… right?” you ask.

“Nothing could keep me away, love.”

He doesn’t call for three days straight. You tell yourself the tightness in your chest is just anxiety over how the hell to handle his assets if he’s dead.

At 3am, the bed dips, a warm body pressing up against your back. You recognize John’s arms wrapping tight around your waist. You stir.

“Are you alright?” you ask.

“Perfect now, love.”

“Mm welcome home.”

“Good to be home, gorgeous.”

[sincerelybubbles]

hi! i loved your hotch x shy!bau! reader fic! would you ever make a second part? or like a continuation of shy!reader and hotch moments? ty! <33

yes yes i wanna keep writing for them so if you guys have anything in specific you want to see, lmk!!

hotch asks shy!bau!reader out for their first date

You stare at the papers in front of you, trying your best to narrow down the geological profile with Reid; trying harder to not let your thoughts wander and distract you. It's hard - Hotch offered to go with you to the new Korean BBQ place before JJ called in the new case. You keep waiting to hear him extend the same offer to the others - specifically Rossi who never turns away an offer to try out a new restaurant or Morgan who is always down to go out with the team.

Instead, he's talking quietly with JJ about Jack's new teacher, unable to do any more work on the case until the jet touches down.

"Okay, we can cross out this county," Spencer says, interrupting your thoughts and reaching across you to mark through a small section. Eyes flicking across the paper, you furrow your brows, confused by the choice.

"Why?" You ask, hand moving to stop his pen strokes before you double-think and let it hit the tabletop.

"Because it's too easy for him to hit if he wanted to. It's been too long, he must have no interest in the area."

"It's low income, exactly his MO. He might hit it later, once he realizes..."

"No," Spencer says, shaking his head before you can finish your sentence. He finishes blacking out the area with his Sharpie and caps the pen, not looking over at you. "That wouldn't make any sense."

Tounge caught by your nerves, you slowly nod your head instead, deciding to give the topic up for now. The next wall the team hits, though, you're determined to readdress the area.

Deciding you need a moment to yourself, you excuse yourself quietly and stand to move to the back of the jet. You stretch your arms above your head, rolling your head back to feel the stretch in your shoulders.

"What county?" Hotch asks, reaching a hand out to intercept your path as you pass him.

"Sorry?" You ask, breath catching on the word as his hand brushes your arm and loops loosely around your wrist. Next to him, JJ has fallen asleep against the window. You feel bad for her for a moment, remembering her talking about Henry's recent sleep regression.

"The county you mentioned to Reid - which one was it?"

"Morris," you say instinctively, still hyper-focused on his hand. His thumb swipes against your wrist bone twice before he lets you go, motioning for you to continue walking.

You think he's let it go and quickly move down the aisle to one of the couches at the back of the jet. When you settle down, though, intent on opening your own map, Hotch sits next to you and tilts his head so you can hear each other if you were to talk softly.

"What was your original thought about it?"

You're struggling to think, distracted by his proximity and low voice. The soft tones reach your belly, causing it to flip, The feeling is pleasant, even if it's entirely inappropriate.

"Sorry?" You say again, meeting his eye before quickly looking away to fumble with the map. Hands shaking, you manage to open it to the right state.

"There's no need to be sorry," Hotch says, voice firm but gentle. He reaches out and you think he's going to grab your wrist again but he instead taps a finger once against Morris County. "Your idea about the county - what was your original thought before Reid shot you down?"

"Oh. It's okay, Reid already said it doesn't make sense." You notice that Hotch opens his mouth to interject before you can finish and your sentence falters at the end. Still, his eyes watch you to make sure you're finished before he answers.

"I still want to hear what you had to say."

You explain your theory to him, then, talking quickly at first, stumbling over your words, before slowing down once you realize he's going to listen to everything you have to say. He nods, agreeing with your theory.

"I'll keep it in mind and give the information to Garcia. Thank you," he says, sincere, eyes locked on yours.

"You're welcome." You wait for him to get up now that you have nothing new to say about the case. While you were talking, you mentioned a few thoughts you had about the preliminary profile the team started on that you couldn't seem to find the space to add during the group conversation.

Instead, he settles further into the seat next to you, reading the map over your shoulder.

Something about his casual posture and the lack of his suit jacket fills you with enough confidence to ask, "Why haven't you invited anyone else to the barbeque place?"

He watches you for a minute, not replying as his eyes scan your face and posture. You've never been the best at body language when it comes to people you know, always a little too nervous to scan them the same way you might an unsub, but you know that Hotch is taking in any and all clues your body can give him before he answers. He seems to roll the words on his tongue, testing them out, before he answers.

You've never been the best at reading the body language of the people you know personally, but you still are considered an expert at it in interrogations, often requested to watch from behind the glass. That's all to say, Hotch seems nervous as he says, "I was hoping it could be us two unless you would prefer the others to be there."

The air leaves your chest and you feel unsteady and unbalanced even though you're sitting. Before you can overthink it, you're shaking your head no.

Hotch's face falls, a slight thing you would certainly notice if your eyes weren't glued to his face to ensure this wasn't some kind of sick joke.

"No, I want it to be just us," you say, quick before he can get the wrong impression.

The usual confidence Hotch carries reinflates in him quickly. He smiles, a slight tug at the corner of his lip that you again only catch because you're watching him so closely.

"Good," he says.

You two sit in comfortable silence for a few minutes after that, first just watching each other, and then, when you get embarrassed, comparing your case files and small map.

"To be clear," he says when Rossi and Spencer have started up a quiet conversation about chess - when his soft tones would be nearly impossible to be understood by anyone but yourself - "I mean as a date. If you would like."

Words lost, you simply nod, eyes wide and smile wider on your face. You think you can hear him chuckle softly but your face is too hot to look up and check. 

[emeritusemeritus]

Charming Witches [Fred Weasley]

Title: Charming Witches [Fred Weasley]

Pairing: PregnantWife!Reader x Fred Weasley, background Hermione X Ron.

Timeline: Set after canon (Fred lives!)

Summary: Ron has an embarrassing issue and unluckily for him, Fred is the only one that can help.

Warnings: Mentions of pregnancy, babies, established relationships. Sexual references throughout. Fred has a bit of a breeding kink- shock. Just a silly little drabble I couldn’t get out of my mind. Fred is a bit mean and sarcastic to Ron.

Word count: 1.6k

"You're, you know... well, sort of, um."

"You'll get there eventually Ronald," Fred jokes with a straight face, half listening to his brother's whispered fumbles whilst he pours himself and his wife a drink, not bothering to offer his youngest brother one. If Fred had even bothered to look at Ron's face, he'd have seen he was as pink in the cheeks as a bottle of love potion, his blush so vivid that he looked ready to erupt with a face full of dragon pox any moment.

Ron clears his throat, trying again, as he casts a nervous glance around the Burrow's kitchen, checking no one was hearing this. He didn't know why he'd chosen Fred of all people to have this conversation with, in theory George would have been a much better choice but he didn't have the same 'qualifications' as his twin, seeing that you and Fred had been together for absolutely years.

"Well, umm," he freezes under Fred's quick but glance, silently telling him to spit it out. "Well you and y/n, you're in sync aren't you... Sexually?"

Whatever Fred was expecting to hear eventually tumble out of his brother's mouth was not even close to the reality and he can't stop his eyebrows from shooting halfway up his forehead instinctively in disbelief.

"Did my very pregnant wife give it away?" He snarks, leaning against the counter and taking a sip of the beer he'd poured, openly enjoying the discomfort his brother was radiating. "That might have been your first clue."

Ron somehow looks paler underneath all the blushing and Fred is revelling in his ability to make his brother squirm.

"Well, yeah I suppose," Ron mumbles, beginning to get defensive and deeply regretting opening up to the trickier twin.

"Calm down Ronald," Fred says, "you and Granger having bedroom troubles?"

"No!" Ron bites back a little too quickly but his resolve breaks under a few seconds of Fred's probing gaze, arms folded in an unconscious power stance. "Maybe."

He's quiet again for a few moments and Fred is uncharacteristically patient whilst he waits for Ron to collect his thoughts.

"How many times would you say is normal, like in a week?"

"Don't know if there's a 'normal' Ronniekins," Fred says with a shrug. "Most days and twice on a Sunday?"

Though he hides it this time, Fred revels in the look of utter horror Ron's eyes convey and it's like he can see the cogs in his brain working on overdrive, emitting smoke as they crumble and break. Evidently, his answer was light years away from what Ron had hoped for. He knows that his wife being ready to pop at any second only helps Ron believe his words and he mentally thanks Godric Gryffindor himself for the overly fortunate timing.

"Don't think it matters mate really; as long as you're both expecting about the same." This time, Fred actually thinks he's being reassuring.

"She just wants to read all the bloody time, even in bed! It's like I'm a bloody afterthought."

"Have you even met your girlfriend?"

This time it's Fred who pauses when he meets the icy glare of his younger brother. He sighs and a slightly awkward silence falls between the pair as they both try to think of how to fix whatever was going on in Ron's mind, hoping that two head were better than one.

"You two alright?"

Ron jumps out of his skin when he hears your slightly concerned greeting upon seeing the two brothers, Fred especially, in near silence.

"Don't tell me you forgot I was here," you joke to Ron, walking over to Fred as he holds out your waiting drink. "Been your sister in law for five years! Plus the bump makes me pretty memorable," you add with a smile.

"I'll say," Fred says with a wink, the cheeky glint in his eyes ever more sparkling as he looks at your bulging tummy, unashamedly ogling your pregnant form. You gently nudged him, silently telling him to be quiet but as you do so, you catch a slightly glare aimed at your husband from Ron.

"Am I interrupting? " You ask outright, sensing tension.

"No," says Fred almost immediately.

"A bit," Ron admits, cringing slightly before he lets out a loud yelp, having been smacked upside the back of the head by his older brother for his disrespect. He grumbles slightly under his breath, absently rubbing the back of his head where Fred's hand had connected to him and let's put a deep sigh.

"You're a girl," he says, averting his eyes anywhere except directly on your own.

Fred snickers at Ron's feeble and clumsy attempt at starting the conversation but opts to take a long swig of his beverage to avoid anymore laughter spilling out, though his delight still shines through his eyes.

"Only when it's not a full moon," you jest, trying to slice through the awkwardness Ron is emitting.

"Forget it, you're as bad as he is."

"Firstly I'm offended," you say, reaching out for his arm gently as you feel his begin to pull away, ignoring your husband's opposition. "Secondly, yes I'm a girl... go on."

"Well," he pauses, gathering courage, long ginger lashes covering his shy eyes that still raise no further than your ankles, "say Fred suddenly didn't want sex."

"Wouldn't happen."

"Fred shush."

"Well... say suddenly he wanted to read at nighttime over having sex."

"Again, wouldn't happen."

"Fred!" You hush him again, this time more firmly.

"How would you go about trying to, you know, fix it."

You were certain you'd never seen Ron this vividly pink in the cheeks before, he looked like he'd been decorated up to display in Umbridge's office.

"That's the problem? Hermione wants to read instead of sex?" You ask, not really seeing the big issue, but trying to say it gently so that you didn't spook him.

He nods, "but it's all the time," he adds, justifying his gripe.

"Well," you say, lowering yourself into Arthur's seat at the head of the kitchen table only a few feet away, unable to stand much longer. "Play her at her own game."

"Eh?" The brothers ask in sync, their faces scrunched into an almost identical confused expression. You simply shrug.

"Make yourself less available to her, pull back a bit," you say, taking a sip of your drink to wet your lips. "Start reading in bed just like she does, act like you're not interested in just sex."

"So I act like I'm not bothered even though I am?" He asks, still not following what you're saying.

"Sort of," you say, trying to find a better way of wording it.

"Reading's always been her favourite thing to do hasn't it? Join in on it. I'd bet on my life that she has a fantasy of you in bed shirtless reading beside her. Stop making advances, let her come to you."

"That's actually quite clever," he says after a few moments of consideration.

"It's been known."

"Shirtless?" He asks with a frown, seemingly fixating on that point.

You chuckle nodding, "well you have to still appeal to her, you don't want it to just be a study session do you?"

"Right, right," he says with a nod, a slight smile returning to his face before it dramatically falls away in an almost comedic move.

"I don't have a book."

"What do you mean you don't have a book?" Fred says in a flabbergasted manner, earning a slight but unconscious raise of your eyebrow. Though you didn't comment on the irony of his words considering you couldn't remember the last time you'd seen him so much as skim the daily prophet.

"I don't really have one," Ron mumbles quietly, "unless my quidditch annual counts."

"It doesn't," you say firmly.

"So I need a book," Ron says firmly, as if he was cementing the plan in his mind, nodding along with his thoughts until he finally makes eye contact. "Thanks y/n," he says with a smile and a nod of his head before he walks away, a bounce in his step.

"Think it's actually gonna work?" Fred asks as you pry yourself out of the chair and walk to stand next to him as you place your empty cup in the sink.

You let out a little chortle and shrug, "well if it doesn't, at least Hermione can read in peace."

Laughter bursts out of Fred and he pulls you close, bump nestled between you as he delights in your words, realising you had absolutely no idea if the plan would work.

Later that evening when everyone was preparing to leave the Burrow after another wonderful family dinner, Ron pulls you and Fred to one side before he left, away from the eyes and ears of everyone else.

"Thanks again for earlier," he says, clearly feeling more at ease about his issue. You smile warmly in reply, happy to help.

"No problem little brother," Fred beams, as if it was him that had offered any advice.

"Oi Ron," you call out quietly to get his attention as he turns to leave. With a smile, you reach down into the bag on your shoulder and pull out an item you'd gleefully searched for in Fred and George's old bedroom after the conversation. "Just incase my advice doesn't work."

Ron frowns reaching for the item you were handing him, a frown that only deepens as he reads the title of the book he was now holding. Fred's laughter is sudden and booming as his eyes land on the once familiar item that had him cracking up laughing, realising instantly what it was.

Twelve fail-safe ways to charm witches.

"Oh piss off."

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[uyuforu]

Romance Numbers in Destiny of Matrix

Hi people! So I have been discovering Destiny of Matrix for some days and I LOVE this technique. And of course, anytime I discover some thing, I love to check with the people I know to see how accurate it is. Moreover, I feel like it hasn't been talked much on Tumblr? Like there are posts but not enough in my opinion. I wanted to try to give my interpretation as I have made some researches based on people I know. So this post is totally my own interpretation! Though, I hope this can give some insights, and some good tools too.

All pictures were found on Pinterest

Other posts you could like:

જ⁀➴ How to know when you will get married?

જ⁀➴ How to know where your Future Spouse was born?

જ⁀➴ Derivative Astrology: our Future Spouse in our Natal Chart

READINGS BOOKING OPEN

email adress: tarotjunoboda@gmail.com

Soft To You presentation and Q&A ᡣ𐭩 rules ᡣ𐭩 private readings reviews

astrology menu ᡣ𐭩 tarot menu ᡣ𐭩 special astrology & tarot readings

What is Destiny Matrix?

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ Destiny Matrix is an Esoteric tool that explores the 22 Arcana's of the Tarot to see a different approach of yourself and your life, as a Chart, similar to Astrology. It's a tool that also enable you to develop your full potential as an individual. Numbers and Chakras are used instead of signs, houses and degrees.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ Calculate your Destiny Matrix Chart here.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ Numbers on the Chart will go from 1 to 22, representing each Tarot's 22 Major Arcanas.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ Colored Numbers are your main energies, they are also great tools to understand your true potential and why you came into this life, but also past life, desires, and your soul's purpose. Though this isn't the theme in this post.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ Some more ressources on Tumblr here!

How do you use Destiny Matrix?

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ In this post, we will talk about the romance and love part of your life. And mostly numbers. On each sides of the chart, you'll see your different ages, representing different eras of your life. And above those different ages, you'll see a number, between 1 to 22.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ As you may have guessed it, those numbers will express the energy of what is happening in your life in those eras. It doesn't only mean one thing, it's a global energy. So this energy can be taken in romance, career, etc.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ It's more about energies and main events. It's a life forecast.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ Now, each numbers above your different ages represent a Tarot Major Arcana, to know more, here is the Wikipedia page.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ Of course, each Arcana have also their own energies and meanings, and the way I interpret cards have always been taking both positive and negative energies. In this tool, I think it's important to take both.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ I have so studied this technique with my personal knowledge and thought of doing an observation post about it, please read this before continuing:

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ Please know this post is based on my personal researches. I practice Tarot too and I have some knowledge on the cards, but I am still new at Destiny of Matrix. My main goal in this post is to give more insights and my own point of view on the matter. I of course use relatives and individuals I knows to support all theories here. This is truly an observation post. Please take it lightly!

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ Also please use your intuition, I bet you'll not have children at 5 years old, so even if you see a number that can indicate pregnancy, think twice that it might not happen when you are too young. Use your own discernment, and take it in an open-minded way! Those are possible indicators only!

Meeting your Future Spouse Numbers

1: The Magician

The first Major Arcana can be an indicator of meeting your Future spouse. This card is the very first card, which usually represents new beginnings, something new coming to your life. It also indicates lovestruck, beginning of a relationship, and building a story with someone. In this case, this can be taken as a something new starting, and def something major in your life.

5: The Hierophant

The Hierophant, also called The Pope, is the 5th card and is an indicator of meeting your FS. This card is considered linked to marriage, as the man on the card usually seal a union between two individuals. Usually this card represent a union that can go far, meaning to marriage. So this can also be an indicator of meeting someone you'll marry in the future. It seems like this number happened with people when they realized who they will marry.

6: The Lovers

The Lovers is the 6th card and it's also an indicator of meeting your FS! It's a quite strong indicator in my opinion, since this card is a divine union card, so soulmates for example are often represented with this card. You could meet a destined lover with this number, or just fall in love too.

10: The Wheel of Fortune

The 10th card usually represents major change in our life, so if you have a 10 number, this can be a year when you'll meet someone who will deeply change your life. This can be a year when you'll meet your FS, things will change!

14: Temperance

This number can also indicate meeting your FS, as this card is also a Soulmate card. Just as the Lovers card, you could meet a divine partner this year but also someone who you'll love deeply. It can also be a soulmate, but this can def be an indicator of meeting the person you'll marry.

16: The Tower

The Tower is also called "The House of God" in the French Version, and it can then represent something fated by a higher force. The number 16 can be a time when you'll meet someone who was "sent" to you, someone who is destined to meet you, and they could perhaps be your FS. It usually also represents a happy union.

17: The Star

The Star is the 17th card of the Tarot for Major Arcana, and it is a sign of hope, happiness and optimism. This number can also be an indicator of meeting someone who will bring you great joy. This is an indicator of having a protected Union, being a couple that will last a long time but also a couple who will having high chances to have children together. Fertility is a keyword for this card.

18: The Moon

So, at first I wasn't going to include this number but two of my family members got it the year they met their FS. So it caught my interest. This card can indicate meeting someone you'll want children with. And it is also a sign of fertility. This number can then be an indicator of meeting your FS since it also talks about meeting someone you'll feel at home and comfortable with, and perhaps meeting someone who is a soulmate too. I have also noticed a pattern with this number: both my relative who got this number met their FS while being in a relationship! Perhaps this can be an indicator...

19: The Sun

AH the Sun! The happy card! The Sun to me makes it obvious we need to add the number 19. This number will bring great happiness and joy into your life, so this can be a year you can meet your FS since they will usually (I wish you that at least), great happiness. This card represents union, a couple that is a great fit for one another, but also a couple that is very tender and wish to build a future together. But it also represents universal and unconditional love!

20: Judgment

The number 20 can be another indicator of meeting your FS. That number is about meeting a person who will be a major meeting in our life. It's also about love at first sight. But also about our destiny. So we could be meeting someone who was meant for us.

22: The Fool

This is the last card in the Major arcana, and it usually represents a meeting a new person in a very unexpected way. But it also represents honeymoon, and meeting a passionate lover. While this can be surprising for others, I think it's important to remember this card represents endings leading to new beginnings. So yes, this can also be an indicator.

Examples

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ My mom was a 10 when she met my dad.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ My dad only married my step mother, and he had number 10 the year he met her.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ The year I met my FS online I was a 6.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ And the year we met in real life I was a 16!

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ Both my grandma and my aunt were a 18 when they met their FS, yet both met them at a time they were already in a relationship!

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ My grandfather was a 20 when he met my grandma.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ My other grandma was also a 10 when she met my other grandfather.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ My FS was a 16 when we first met and 5 when we met in real life.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ One of my best friend was a 5 the first time she met her FS.

Getting Engaged / Marriage Numbers

2: The Popess

5: The Hierophant

6: The Lovers

7: The Chariot

This card is about moving, and things moving fast, forward. An engagement or a wedding is a new step in a relationship, so this card can be an indicator.

8: The Justice

Marriage contract

10: The Wheel of Fortune

16: The Tower

19: The Sun

20: The Judgment

21: The World

22: The Fool

A new era of your life, something totally new coming.

Examples

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ When my dad and step mother married, she was a 21 and my dad was a 20.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ My grandma was an 8 when she got married for the second time.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ My grandfather was a 22 when he got married the second time.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ My other grandmother was a 21 when she got married too.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ My aunt was a 5 when she got married.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ If I follow my predictions, I will be an 8 or 16 when I'll get married.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ My mother has indicators of getting married soon and she will be a 7 soon LOL.

Pregnancies/ Having Children Numbers

2: The Popess

The Popess represents the oldest woman, the woman who has knowledges and experiences, so it can also represents a nurse, or women who help during the pregnancies. And it is also a sign, as the card itself, of pregnancies. It is governed by the Moon. It represents the desire to have children, and also to be pregnant. It is also a sign of maternal wisdom or nurturing.

3: The Empress (for women specifically)

The Empress represents the woman, and it is a major number to have for years to be pregnant. I would say that it represents being pregnant best, and more if you are a woman actually. This card is represented by Venus, and it is a huge indicators of being pregnant, being fertile, and having children. Pregnancy is a huge theme on this card. The Empress represents the mother in Tarot.

4: The Emperor (for men specifically)

As the Empress represents the mother, the Emperor represents the father! So if you are a man, this can be an indicator of becoming a father a certain year.

6: The Lovers

It wasn't an indicator to me at first but I saw two of my family members being a 6 during pregnancies or when they had a child, so I have decided to mark it. I guess since the Lovers represents being two, and when a woman is pregnant, she is two (her + the child), it can be an indicator. Both of those family members had this indicator with their first children!

10: The Wheel of Fortune

The Wheel of Fortune isn't necessarily a pregnancy indicator in Tarot, at least not specifically. But, this card represents big change or transformation in one's life. So it's obvious it can mean something is changing. This can so indicate pregnancies, and if you are a woman, this can even indicate something is changing in your body!

13: Death

While Death represents change and transformation, it can also apply in this case in my opinion. It means new beginnings, it's a card that indicates deep change, so even physically and mentally. So this can mean deep change and transformation in your body, but also in your life, as having children brings total new beginnings.

16: The Tower

This card brings happy news and it's a card about fertility, and also men's fertility. It represents pregnancies in some cases as it brings happy news specially to the home.

17: The Stars

This card represents women, fertility, feeling harmonious, and wishes for pregnancies. It represents possible birth and children.

18: The Moon

This is a feminine card too! A card ruled by Cancer, and a big indicator for pregnancies and children. In Tarot, this totally represents being pregnant. It also represents the desire to be pregnant, and the action to fall pregnant (so s3x, but def in order to be pregnant).

19: The Sun

So, there are two reasons as to why I think this can be an indicator. First, this card represents happy news, and so this is obvious (generally) a pregnancy is a happy new. But this card is also ruled by the Sun & Leo, and it so is the card of children.

21: The World

The World is a card that can also represents pregnancies. First, it's a card that has more feminine and women energies. This card represent the end of a project, and it can be the outcome of a couple project (what do couples do together... iykyk), it also represents a perfect project.

Examples

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ My mother had number 3 when she had me.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ When my step-mother was pregnant with my sister, she was a 18.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ My aunt was a 10 during her first pregnancy.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ The next years she is a 13 and then 16, I am pretty sure she will fall pregnant again (I have astro indicator of having a new cousin this year).

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ My dad was a 18 when my mom was pregnant, and a 10 when I was born.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ He was a 10 again when my brother was born.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ My grandma was a 21 when she was pregnant with her first child.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ Funny thing, my grandma was a 4 when she had my mother, but the story was that my grand father reallyyyy wanted a child that year.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ My other grandma was a 21 when she had my aunt.

FS being a Foreigner Numbers

For this part, we will focus on the numbers near the hearts, and actually those three (see pictures). Those numbers are indicators and a way to describe your FS. In those numbers, you can see if your FS can be a foreigner. Here are some numbers can indicate such thing.

7: The Chariot

The Chariot is a card that represents the act of moving, and it can also indicate traveling. Despite it's not necessarily a card that means this, it is still connected to the world, since the Chariot goes and doesn't stop. It can go anywhere, so this can be an indicator of having a foreign spouse.

14: Temperance

Temperance is a card that is related to holidays and traveling for vacations, so this card can also be linked to the foreign world. This card also reminded me of the foreign land, foreign people and people who are open-minded. After all, Aquarius rule over this card, so it makes sense.

19: The Sun

This can be surprising, yet I don't think it's a major indicator, but it can still be. Actually, the Sun as a card represent countries that are hot, and places where we can go on vacations, so this is again linked to foreign lands and foreigners.

21: The World

This one is obvious, the World literally represents what it is meant to. This is the biggest indicator to me.

22: The Fool

The last card of the Tarot to me is an indicator of having a foreign spouse as well, and I would say in my opinion, 2nd biggest. This card is ruled by Uranus, so Aquarius too. This card represents the travelers, people who go and just want to discover, curiosity, it represents "everywhere".

Not a lot of people around me married foreigners for now, I don't have much examples, except my FS is a foreigner and I have a 22 number lol. But this is just my guesses since those are cards that are linked to foreign lands.

Being Single / Breaking Up / Divorce Numbers

1: The Magician

New beginnings, starting a new project, cheating, being cheated on etc.

7: The Chariot

Moving on, moving to someone/ something else/ searching for something else.

8: The Justice

Breaking a contract, divorce.

9: The Hermit

Wanting to be alone, being left alone, someone breaking up with us, breaking up and staying single, being single.

10: The Wheel of Fortune

Change, suddenly breaking up, changing partner, passing from one partner to the other, etc.

12: The Hanged Man

Stop of a relationship, breaking up, divorce, the end of a relationship, leaving a partner.

13: Death

End of a relationship, divorce, separation, break up, being heart broken.

14: Temperance

End of a relationship, breaking up, could be a break up in good term, but also a break up because of miscommunication, couple not being made for each other.

15: The Devil

Cheating, being cheated on, doing terrible things against your partner, or your partner being terrible things to you, divorce, break up, leaving your partner for someone else, your partner leaving you for someone else, having bad intentions.

16: The Tower

Break up, divorce, separation, fights, arguments, cheating, being cheated on, breaking up on bad terms.

21: The World

Being rejected by your partner, being cheated on, partner breaking up with you, couple failing, couple not being made for each other, divorce, break up, cheating, wanting adventures.

22: The Fool

End of a relationship, stepping away from a partner, wanting to be single, being single, wanting to go on adventures, cheating, being cheated on, a partner leaving us, sudden endings.

Examples

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ When my mom and dad divorced, my mom was a 13. My dad was a 10.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ My step mother was a 12 when she and my dad divorced.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ I was a 16 when I had a big break up with one of my ex who cheated on me (and then made me believe it was my fault lmao).

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ My aunt left her partner to be with her current husband the year she was a 10.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ My dad was a 12 the year he got divorced from my step mother.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ My grand father was a 12 when he left his first wife.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ My grand mother was a 10 when she left her first husband for my grand father.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ My grandmother was a 8 when she got divorced from my grandfather.

Thank you for reading!

back to index ; ask ; request ; rules

[euthymiya]

two sides of the same coin — ft. kamisato ayato

your husband is aware of your body like it’s his duty. doting as a husband should be, he takes matters into his own hands to offer you a solution that more than satisfies the both of you at the same time

contains: 2k words of pure shame ; fem reader ; periods and period sex ; cunnilingus ; fingering ; freak ayato like the usual ; reader and ayato are married (they refer to each other as husband and wife affectionately) ; ayato cums untouched

He knows. Like some sort of twisted sixth sense, Ayato always knows your body better than anything else.

He enters your chambers at half past five—it’s usually the time he’s most busy, the time when most of his important meetings run through. But he’s here, walking up to you as he shuts and locks the door behind him.

“Ayato?” You raise a questioning brow, “What are you doing here when—”

“I have cleared my schedule,” he cuts you off, eyeing you with a certain hunger you can recognize all too well. He’s quick to make his way over to you, body hovering over yours on the bed as he presses his nose to your cheek and inhales your scent.

“Cleared your schedule…” you repeat, eyeing him for a split second before you gasp, shivering as his lips nip at your jaw.

“Yes, my darling wife,” he chuckles, “it took a great deal of effort to afford myself this time. Do you not wish to be in my presence?”

“Oh, be quiet, will you?” You huff, fingers gripping at the loose hairs surrounding his face, brushing it behind his ear as he shivers at the soft touch. 

It doesn’t take long after that—his lips find yours hungrily. 

Ayato is impatient when he wants something. He’s never been accustomed to waiting for much, the spoiled thing. Whether it’s as the young master or as the head of the Kamisato clan, he has never had to ask for something twice. You are no exception. You give him what he desires just as quickly, if not quicker.  

Today is a bit different, though. Today, you pull away, stopping his hands gently as they play with the hem of your dress, stilling him from exposing your thighs. 

“Troubled, my dear?” He raises a brow, pulling away from your lips with glossed, swollen ones of his own. “I’ve already told you, there’s nothing to overthink. I have handled matters for the evening to spend my moments with you.”

“It’s not that,” you hesitate for a moment, faltering when his hand comes to cup your cheek, a delicate thumb tracing your lips. “I…I’m afraid I can’t.”

“Why’s that?” He tilts his head, making you deflate with a pout. 

“Use your brain, you treacherous man,” you huff, slapping his shoulder lightly as he gives you a teasing grin. “What happens during this time of month—I know you know. You’ve spent a good deal of time handling my moods enough to be aware.”

“Ah, I see,” he chuckles, eyes twinkling as he leans down to nip below your ear. “I’m already aware of your…predicament. It’s precisely why I’ve come to you.”

“Ayato—”

“You know, I’ve come to learn the most interesting fact the other day. Did you know that achieving orgasm helps significantly with alleviating menstrual cramps? Such fascinating wonders of the body,” he hums. His eyes narrow as he looks at you, something far hungrier than you think you’ve ever seen. “Perhaps we should test for ourselves the validity of such theories.”

“Dear heavens. Your desires have become more and more improper as the days pass, Ayato,” you scold, flustered under his heated gaze, “Would it kill you to have a sense of propriety?” 

“Oh, my darling beloved,” he grins, so wholly amused it makes you almost feel like his prey, “You misunderstand me. I’m merely a devoted husband, one who aims to keep my beautiful lady pleased. Surely, it is not a crime?”

“But—”

“Now, now,” he coos, pressing a soft, wet kiss to your cheek before he slowly makes his way between your legs, kissing at your plush thighs as he moves your skirt higher, higher, higher. Until you’re stuttering over your breaths as he presses a kiss just below your belly button. “No need to worry. I assure you, I will handle the mess. Think of it as my way of expressing my gratitude for how patiently you always wait for me, my love.”

Ayato is a man of deep, untamed desires. You’ve learned through your years of marriage. He’s taken you in hushed corners of the estate, places where anyone can hear you, walk past you, catch you red handed for your obscenity. Perhaps they have—you don’t think it outlandish for someone to unintentionally catch a glimpse of your fucked out face, hear his filthy grunts, witness the roll of his hips as his swollen cock splits you in two outside of your chambers where he should be having you. 

The people of the estate are kind enough to afford you ignorance to their knowledge if they do happen to have been unfortunate passerbyers. It’s to your relief, and you suspect it’s to Ayato’s great disappointment. 

Such a shamelessly filthy man, you think. 

You don’t have time to really dwell on your husband's improper desires, however. Not when he’s so quick to disrobe your lower half and leave your pussy bare. 

He hums, pressing a kiss to your clit, earning a shiver from you as you whimper. 

“Ayato, this is filthy,” you whine, “You’re being utterly obscene.”

“Do you really wish for me to stop?” He challenges, “I shall end this the moment you ask—go on, my precious wife. Ask me to stop and I will.”

You can’t. It’s the shameful part of this whole ordeal—your cunt is aching for him, for his tongue, his fingers, his touch. Anything. There is no stopping Ayato, but not because he is good at taking what he wants. It’s because you are terrible at denying him. Deep down, just as much as he wishes to have you, you wish to give him yourself. 

It’s a horrid realization you try to deny. But it’s a simple truth. You and Ayato are a match perhaps even Celestia themselves would be shocked by—the pure lewdness of your natures are perfectly in sync. His more bold, and yours more hidden, of course. But they are one and the same at their core. 

Ayato aches for you, and you ache to give yourself up. It’s a simple arrangement of things. 

“You are a wicked man,” you huff, hand burying into his locks as you twist your fingers around the strands and pull harshly. Like a punishment. He groans, a lewd sound that makes your walls quiver around nothing—of course, he relishes in the slight sting at his scalp from your actions. “Get on with it then,” you say without meeting his smug, humored little eyes. 

“As you wish, my love,” he says smoothly. His lips are curled in a predatory smile, eyeing you with the slyness of a fox who’s cornered a small, helpless rabbit. But even with his teeth bared, Ayato is gentle. 

He gives kitten licks to your clit, rolling his tongue teasingly over the sensitive nub as you shake and give him a soft gasp. And because you are just as good at getting what you want from the man, you look down at him with the softest, pleading eyes as you beg, “Ayato, my darling. Do spare you poor wife the teasing will you? Don’t you love me so?”

He lets out a shaky exhale at that, breath hitching as he closes his eyes and takes a sharp breath. “I believe you are just as wicked as me, my dear,” he says hoarsely. 

And then his lips are attached to your clit, sucking around the nerves as you whine, head thrown back against the pillows, hips bucking into his mouth as he moves down to lick a stripe at your folds. You should be ashamed of your dripping cunt—of the filth mingled in with the slick. But Ayato has no qualms. He’s exceedingly happy, in fact, groaning in some sick pleasure of his own as he tastes you on his tongue, the vibrations leaving you sensitive and quaking. 

“Oh, Ayato,” you moan, a high pitched little sound that makes his cock twitch in his pants. He pants into your pussy, hot breath fanning over your entrance as he rubs his achingly hard cock against the mattress, right through his pants. “Ayato, please—I c-can’t…”

A finger prods at your folds, sinking in slowly. You mewl at the intrusion, arching your back as he slips in another and gives a shallow thrust of his wrist. His tongue flicks back and forth against your clit, eyes hooded as they stare up at your broken expression. 

“Fuck,” you curse. Such obscenities are only uttered by you when Ayato has his way with you—when he strips you bare of your formalities and turns you weak against your own etiquette. “It…it feels so good, Ayato. M-more—please.” 

He chuckles, planting a wet kiss, then another, then one more against your clit before he thrusts his fingers into you again, brushing against the spongy, delicate spot in the back of your walls that has you seeing stars. You sob, tugging at his hair and pulling him closer to your cunt, grinding your clit against his mouth as he hums at the action. 

“I’m close,” you whimper, “S-so—oh, gods.”

You break. Completely shatter. Never have your walls fluttered quite like this, spasming around his fingers in the most overpowering orgasm you think you might have had. His tongue swirls along your clit, long and slender digits brushing along your walls and dragging against every sensitive ridge. He hits that spot you’re most weak to so perfectly, precise and almost cruel as he brushes his fingertips against it without mercy. 

The pleasure is so much that it’s almost too overwhelming. It makes you feel out of body, makes you shake under his touch as you let broken cries fall past your lips. 

Ayato is not faring any better. You’re everywhere. Your taste lingers on his tongue, your heat envelops his every breath, your precious sounds invade his ears. Even your thighs that squeeze around his face suffocate him with you. It’s almost enough on its own to send him over the edge himself—and when he rolls his hips against the bed, he can’t help but choke on his own groans, spilling into his pants with heavy twitches of his throbbing cock. Hot ropes of his seed soil his pants, but he couldn’t possibly care—not when you’re whining above him and tugging his hair to pull him away. 

“P-please,” you pant breathlessly, “please it’s too much.”

Sensitive, he notes. You’re more sensitive during this time than the usual others. He’ll make sure to have fun with that later—for now, he pulls away, eyes hazy and blissed as he looks up at you with such infatuated pupils. 

“You are unearthly beautiful, my love,” he whispers. “Have I ever mentioned that?”

“Plenty,” you say exasperatedly, plopping an arm over your face as you hide the flustered expression on your face. 

He laughs, pressing a kiss to your thigh, grinning as a dull, red stain is left in the wake of his lips. So filthy—but he enjoys it so deeply. 

“Then I must remind you again. You are exceedingly breathtaking—I could not hope to deserve such a marvelous sight in any lifetime.”

“Enough flattery, you evil husband.”

“Evil?” He gasps, playfully offended. “I’ve taken such great care to help you in your moments of pain. Do tell me, were my findings correct? Has it helped your pains to come undone on my tongue?”

Ayato likes taking you. You like giving yourself up. Two filthy sides of the same coin. 

You hum thoughtfully, wiggling your hips before your hand tugs him by the hair to bump his nose against your clit. “I wasn’t paying attention. Try one more time so I can be certain.”

“Ah, of course. As you wish, my love,” he breathes excitedly. 

I uh….I don’t really wanna talk about it🚶‍♀️

[serejae]

IF BY CHANCE ? | BND

-

p2

WHAT ? - BND AS EXES WHO WANT YOU BACK (bnd realizing they messed up after you end things)

WHEN ? - (warning) this is not a REAL display of the members im just doing this for weeping entertainment:) attempt to unconsented kissing in jaehyuns, drinking in sungho’s, mentions of throw up/throwing up in leehans, major angst 😒

WHO ? - (a/n) i love angst but not like death but yearning and groveling, pls tell me yall relate. lowk went hard on jaehyun and leehans from personal experience 🤔🤔

uncapitalization intended and not proofread

theres a theory that you will always meet the same person twice

-

P.SUNGHO ; he was too focused on his career.

! - you knew and understood thst sungho’s job was very important to him but it started to feel like you werent his partner anymore. you started to feel like decoration in your guys apartment that he would just ignore when he got home.

! - to try and help your relationship you made him dinner, cleaned up the place, asked him about his day to which he blew up. his cold demeanor suddenly dropped as he yelled at you about constantly bothering him when he just wanted to sleep. you knew your intentions and knew you didnt want to bother but help sungho. you then realize you werent valued in this relationship and were pulling the whole weight by yourself, so you ended things.

! - it took him about 4 days to realize that he messed up. those 4 days his mind was constantly fogged up about work, after those 4 days he walked into the house and how he realized was when he alerted you (or tried to) that he was home with a “honey im home”, only to be met with silence. a bit confused not realizing his brain hadnt catched up yet, he walked into your twos room, or use to be. only to be met with the mess he left for himself in the morning. there is when he realized you weren’t there anymore. to shake his mind off of it, he decided to eat before doing anything ,he went to the kitchen to heat up some frozen dinner. as the meal heated he realized the house was so empty, cold, and quiet. the only sound was coming from the spinning microwave.

! - it’s safe to say the soulless house took a toll on him. everyday he dreaded going home, which is funny cause he couldve said the same thing before he realized how important you were. his friends who were tired of seeing him so lifeless decided to invite him to go to the bar to hang out…he wasnt much fun there either. that was until he caught a glimpse of you from the reflection of his empty shot glass. his eyes light up and he turns around to make eye contact with you. .

-

L.RIWOO ; trust issues.

! - you understood where riwoo was coming from, you knew that trust issues are normal , but it got to a point where his trust issues started to make you question him.

! - and it didnt help that each time you did try to reassure him that it somehow made it worse. “ri, of course im going to stay late, my boss asked me too. you have my location, i send you photos of me working, what else do you want?” maybe your approach wasnt the best but the way he snapped was when you knew no matter how much you tried to protect both you and his peace, he will try to tear it down again. “oh, so now your getting defensive. i shouldve known, especially from you.” he said it with no remorse or thought behind it. and to him he thought he was winning this argument but in reality he was going to make the biggest loss of his life.

! - it took him 5 hours to realize he messed up. when you left and packed your things he thought you’d run back and it’ll make him feel better about himself. but after 4 hours it was already 3 am and he realized maybe…you wouldnt come back as soon as he thought. but that last hour before he realized he messed up, he had a dream of you and him. you two were living that exact moment, before you left. you standing pacing back and forth as he sat on the couch. except this time, he talks to you about why he thinks the way he thinks and vows to do better. in that dream he sleeps with you in his arms. when he woke up he stared at the ceiling, and it was like it was talking to him. thats when he realized you werent coming back. you wont be in his arms again, you wont tell him about your day, and you wont constantly tired of arguing with him because of his doubts.

! - after trapping himself in his house and thoughts he decided to go on a walk, but to his suprise once he opens the door you stand there staring at him with a box of his things in your hands. his mouth goes dry

-

M. JAEHYUN ; girl bestfriend

! - you were the never the type of partner to care too much about the opposite gender best friends as you were very secure in your relationship, but in this case it wasnt him but rather her. you knew from the moment she laid her eyes on you she was no good. but you decided to give her the benefit of the doubt as this was jaehyuns childhood bestfriend, and if you didnt like her you could at least pretend for your boyfriends sake.

! - you were always calm and reserved around jaehyun and his bestfriend even on those dsys you wanted to push her off him. but today it was like a flip switched. you walked home soaked from the rain after not being to reach your boyfriend to pick you up. you get it he’s busy, but your blood boiled when you saw both of them sitting on the couch peacefully. she looked up at you and grinned as jaehyun ran up to you worried. “jaehyun lets talk in our room please” you simply asked. he followed you to you and his shared room with a towel drying you off as you spoke. “i really hate to do this to you but its either me or her.” he paused his movements of drying your hair “you know i cant do that. ive known her for so long do you not trust me?” he said defensive. “i dont trust her” you said blandly, he stared at you and started lecturing you on how his bestfriend gave you no reason to not trust her. you didnt argue back, you were too tired for it you just said “she likes you jaehyun”. he paused and continued lecturing you about how thats ridiculous. you shake your head and pack your things “clearly i know your answer.” he continues on and on on how youre being ridiculous. once you leave the door he puts his hand in his face.

! - it took him like 5 minutes to realize he messed up (bye.) his friend came into your room and sat down by him as he listened to him rant. “you know…” she said slowly “y/n’s not wrong” his ears perked up at that “ive always liked you jaehyun, your just too silly to realize.” he freezes at her words, feeling his blood run cold he feels her fingers on his chin and her leaning in. he backs up and kicks her out despite her protest. once he locked the door and is left in the empty haunting house alone he scrambles for his phone. after finding it he opens it to all your messages asking if he can pick you up. it made him nauseous at the thought he left you alone and cold for his ‘friend’ that was the cause of your breakup. he calls you to which you dont answer, he starts panicking at this point and paces in the house as he mass text and call you just wanting a answer. he pauses in front of him at the only room he hasnt stepped room in since pacing. your bedroom. he walks in and lays down only to be reminded of your scent when he lifts the blankets over his head. thats when he starts crying and realized you weren’t there to hold him like you normally did

! - he didnt have his safe space anymore.

-

H. TAESAN ; distant

! - you hated to admit it but one of the things that drew you into taesan was the thing that made you end things. his cold demeanor was what made everyone so curious about him, fortunately or unfortunately you were the one he picked to be into his very small circle to which you became his partner. during this you learned he loved his alone time which you were fine with, what threw you off was the way he signaled to you he wanted to be alone. he would ignore you in public and not reply to your messages as if you didnt know each other. you were okay with it at first since you loved your strange boyfriend but after a while you grew tired of it. tired of breaking down his walls and when you finally feel accepted by him only to be shut out again

! - and clearly it was a mistake bringing it up to him because it lead him to being the loudest you ever heard him, arguing back and forth. “i dont get why you just have to pretend you don’t know me. im fine with you needing your alone space but why do you have to act like you hate me?”

“im starting to if thats how your gonna react to me needing my time every so often.”

you couldnt argue anymore, especially when he just admitted he was close to hating you for communicating your feelings. the room went quiet, taesan looks over his shoulder to see you staring at the ground before walking off. after that day you didnt text first or initiate anything to see if he would, unfortunately to you. he didnt.

! - it took him about a month to realize he messed up (sorry taesan lovers:c). but dont get me wrong, its not like he went on with his life like normal. everyday it felt like he was missing something but he could never put his finger on this feeling so he just dismissed it. until one day by instinct he sat at your twos spot alone and your guys song started to play in his headphones. he was never one to communicate his feelings too well but that didnt mean he didnt care for you. he would dedicate songs to you and one just fit perfectly with you two. when the song played he looked around and realized where he was with what song was playing only to see something is missing

you.

and thats when it hit him, he didnt get his usual messages, his hugs, or his sneaky looks from you. he was alone, but wasnt this what he wanted?

he wanted to be alone right?

he loved it.

right?

he then realized

he loves you more then he loved being alone.

was it worth it to lose one thing you love more to prioritize the other?

-

K.LEEHAN ; too friendly

! - from the beginning you knew dating leehan came with a price. everyone wanted him. some more bold than others that would go up to him and ask him out even when he had a partner. his reaction to these admirers was a stranger then how a boyfriend would react to girls hitting on him. he’d entertain the girls in front for you just to see your reaction. you knew he loved seeing you jealous which was cute at first but after a while it got old. it started to make you doubt whether he really loved you or not. if the girls would compliment leehan he’d start asking for details, “oh yeah? how much do you like me?” “my arms are pretty strong arent they?” or he’d start teasing “calm down my partners infront of me, maybe later” to which the girls, including him would laugh as he looked over to see your fuming face.

! - but this one time, you couldnt take it anymore. if this is what dating someone admired upon was like, you wanted no part. it was like normal. girls would swarm around you and leehan and start flirting, but his one comment ticked you off. “yeah of course we can hangout, im sure my partner wont mind” he winked, he looks over at you expecting to see your puffy angry face but is met with you leaving the table. he follows behind you calling for you. when he finally catches up to you thats when you spew everything youve been feeling. “i can understand if your admired i get it your handsome! but your taken and you should know that, no normal boyfriend flirts back with girls who flirt with him. i have to deal with this closing feeling in my throat and chest all because you want a little enjoyment for your day and im done.” he looked at you confused with a hint of being offended. “youre overreacting yn.” he said before being cut off with you walking away.

! - he realized he messed up 6 days later. its not like he didnt care, but he was in his state of mind that youll run back like any of his fangirls would. during those days he continued to flirt back with them now that his flock was much bigger now that he was single. but this time he flirted back much less enthusiastic as he would before, because he had no reason to, no reaction, no partner to coddle after. he now felt sick with the thought of flirting with anyone to start dating if it wasnt you. he got up from the table to which he recieved a bunch of whines and pleads to stay. he just needed fresh air. he continued walking around campus until he heard a familiar laugh. he turned his head over and seen you with another person, laughing and getting all close like you and him use too. now staring from afar he understood what you meant. he felt his chest and throat closing at the thought sight of you reliving what you and him would do with someone that wasnt him. and his words replay in his mind

“you’re overreacting yn”

“your overreacting”

“overreacting”

in fact you were not overreacting but he knew he had no right to be jealous, when his urge for you to be jealous tore you two apart.

he was on the verge of spilling his guts and you looked happy. not angry, and thats what you deserved

-

K. WOONHAK ; always mad at you

! - woonhak has always been very open about his anger issues and you knew that. he was just a teen living his first life and you acknowledged that. on certain days he would hold grudges against you and not tell you why he was angry, leaving you alone to figure out and trace back to see what you had done. and it was always something small like giving him only 2 hugs instead of 3 for morning, afternoon, and night. and forbid you try to get him to communicate why he is mad at you. he’ll turn into a big angry ball yelling at every reason he should be mad

! - this one day you were so tired from school. you just wanted to walk home with your boyfriend and hopefully cuddle at home. but he wasnt waiting for you outside your class, instead you already saw him walking out of the school. catching up to him you say hi and start asking him about his day to which you recieve a mean face ignoring you. deciding to avoid that you talked about your day to which he paid no attention to. thats when you snapped “hey im talking to you!” no reply “why do you always do this, you just get mad at me and expect me to read your mind!” he turned over to you and yelled back “i dont know why you can never just think, is it that hard to realize what you did?” “no i cant read your mind woonhak!”. he just turned away and started to walk “woonhak if you keep walking were over!” he paused, to which you hoped he’d come to his senses but he kept walking

! - he realized he messed up 1 days after. day 1, he completely forgot about the night before as it was so normal for him to go back to not being mad at you when he felt like it. when you didnt walk to school with him he decided that was his reasoning for being mad you today. and when you didnt run up to him or walk up to him after school to walk together he started to be a bit confused. here is when youd start to cave but as he walked home he retraced his memory with each step and remembered what you had said when he was being petty.

‘ “woonhak if you keep walking were over!” ‘

he just kept walking, and now you werent his to walk anymore.

-

“is it so wrong of me to hope she breaks your heart, is it so wrong for me to pray she tears you apart?”

[long-live-astronerd-ghost-king]

DP×DC prompt. Pre-Dead on main. Soulmate Au.

Do clones have soulmates? And evil (depressed) future versions of yourself? Only phamily is allowed to know.

~~~~

Jason wasn’t particularly thrilled to have a soulmate. Of course, it was a rare phenomenon many wanted. But the presence of the tattoo did not guarantee a meeting with the fate promised man. The tattoo was more a clue than a commitment, according to Jason. Meeting a street rat like him would be a good way to form a brotherhood, but that doesn’t mean he could trust a stranger completely just because fate says so.

After he became Robin, owning a soulmate became undesirable. Jason once again made sure that it was best that they never meet. It would be safer for his human. Or rather, so Jason thought, until his inscription suddenly darkened and disappeared. Died. His solmate died, and there was nothing he could do. He knew it could happen, but somehow it hurt anyway. One person has only one soulmate for life. And he wasted his chance by not even trying to find his one.

He didn’t even have time to meet someone for whom fate has chosen this line:

Hoc est vivere bis, vita posse priore frui.

(It is to live twice, when you can enjoy recalling your former life)

And Now it didn’t matter. Would they be lovers, best friends, family? What kind of person was the one whom the universe associated with this quote?Jason is not meant to know.

~~~~~~

Todd was suffering from nightmares. No, to be more specific, he was experiencing a completely different life in a dream. A few days earlier, he had hallucinations in which his surroundings seemed to change the appearance of different eras for a few seconds. Strange glitch. Jason blamed the sleep deprivation that Red Robin must have given him through bite. But Robin didn’t know who the hell Red Robin was.

The search for a biological mother, death and resurrection. His work as a crime lord. His madness and envy to the red robin. It was so strange. Life in Gotham never allowed him to be a naive child like the idiots of Metropolis but those dream memories made him grow up to fast again. In an attempt to wash away this nightmare and this blood, Jason stands under a cold shower at five o'clock in the morning. And then he notices that his mark has changed. It looks like a tree crown now.

On top of the old grey line a neon-green quotes lit up in latin, but now Jason can read them without a dictionary:

1)Death pursues the man even as he flees from it.

2) Hail, Emperor, those who are about to die salute you.

3) There is no easy way from the earth to the stars.

When B tries to pat him on the shoulder after the patrol, Robin dodges. Too much has happened, or rather, too much should happen. These dreams are too real to be the result of fear toxin damage or something else. The feeling of betrayal and fear that comes when he just thinks about the damn clown is too intense. And now he's too weak to fight him. He doesn't have his gang or a more mature body, or even the confidence in Batman that allowed Robin to fly without a doubt.

~~~~~

~You can't love anyone, 'cause that would mean you had a heart~

If you were loved by a man when he was alive, then the love of a ghost will be for you either a blessing or a curse. And if the spirit is not at rest because of his hatred for man, then there is no special sense to put up with the dead. They can hardly change their attitude. They don’t think critically. Maddie and Jack expound this theory on career day for Danny’s classmates. And they don’t understand why their boy looks at the presentation with horror.

Danny was fond of the quote on his wrist. It gave him hope many times even in the darkest of times.

~Fortis est ut mors dilectio / Love is strong as death~

Danny never listened to his parents' theories before. But what if they’re right? What if the ghosts of nature are just good liars and his ghost half convinced his human half that he’s still capable of emotion? Were these just residual memories of affection about family and friends that forced him to stay in Amity Park? Was it just his ghost obsession that told him a man behind his mark was important?

For the first time, when Jazz summons all the Phantoms to a weekly meeting, Danny does not seek excuses, but brings the matter up for a discussion.

Truly, it's no surprise to him that Dan’s tattoo is invariable. But it’s a bit of a surprise that Dani shares special human with them. Well, as ghosts, they have zero chance of actually spending their "lives" with the person behind words, so there’s no reason to be jealous of each other.

A lot of soulmates live their lives without each other, and it's not a tragedy. Or so Danny and Dani thought. Until Dan sarcastically notes during a family therapy session in Jazz’s room that their soulmate will not live to be fifteen either.

Their feelings or their absence will wait. Their soul mate is now in real danger, and this is far more important than the existential crisis of a few pieces of ectoplasm. This is the main problem. Jazz doesn’t agree, but honestly, the older sister has always been a bore. Danny panics and Dani also bursts into tears when Dan just shrugs his shoulders.

Danny: So you know who is our soulmate is, right? Dan: Of course I do. And I know the grave won’t hold him forever. Dani: So how is he..going to die? Dan: Murdered. By the Joker. I studied the case. Asked Vlad to still it for me. That was the beginning of the end, I think. So many broken bones and so much blood, and then the explosion. Not the best way to die. The only thing I regret is that I didn't stop playing the hero and kill that damn clown before it happened. It would solve so many problems. And why didn't I throw a temper tantrum a couple of days earlier instead of trying to get rid of my emotions first?

Danny: True. That shit didn't work anyway. Dan: Shut up. Dani: I was hoping that our soulmate would be happy even without us. Does this really have to happen? Isn't there anything we can do? Dan: Ask your time freak. But in my experience, anything connected to Phantom just doesn’t get a happy ending.

~~~~~~They say that time's supposed to heal ya, but I ain't done much healing~~~~~~

Jazz is not surprised when after breakfast with her siblings she's asked to leave so they can talk to themselves alone. Dan: Well, shoot. What else do you want to know? Danny: Like you didn’t figure it out. All right. When you asked Vlad to separate your human half from ghost half, whether you really wanted to get rid of human emotions or.. Dan: Or did I try to kill myself? You are me. You must know the answer. Nobody's left. Could you live with the shame of not being able to save them? Dani: Um, that vile monster who made all this happen with out soulmate, it was still exist in your timeline? Dan: Yes. And Batman too. Even after Jason's death he didn’t get rid of the damn clown.

Danny: You were supposed to be there for him. Dan: I know. Dani: Did you at least avenge him? Dan: I tried. But his paranoid furry dad, with his backup plans for backup plans, was always getting in my way. Dani: Batman? Our soulmate is Robin? Danny: Come on, you terrorized the entire Amity Park, don’t tell me you’re scared of a man in a bat suit. You couldn't get rid of one person under bat's nose? Seriously? We're such a disgrace, man. Dan: Oh please, don’t be ridiculous. Danny: So why not? Dan: Because Batman is his father, like I said. You know how I work. Even if I had only come for Joker, there would be no guarantee that I wouldn't end up getting into a fight with this vigilante as well. Even if the bastard deserved a good beating, it would still be awkward if our soulmate returned to the world of the living and it turned out that this was not what he wanted, right? Danny: How thOughTfuL.

Dan:...I think I told you to shut up.

Danny: Yeah, yeah. So, what’s the plan? Dan: You do realize that if I go to Gotham, I won’t spare Joker or anyone who will try to hurt our bird? Danny: Well, if Сlockwork has a problem with it he should say it to my face. I’m not asking you to hold back. Not this time. Joker is not just a random guy or a ghost who can be talked out of his ideas. Better nip the problem in the bud. Dani: Yeah. We are ghost, so it's our nature to protect what belongs to us. And we are selfish because we are humans. We can’t hide it, well, from ourself, right? Danny: Um, right, but we think you should stay. It's too dangerous. Dani: But he's my soulmate too! Even if he doesn't get to know either of us, I also want to do something to help him. Someone has to serve as a distraction or be ready to help. I'm coming too. It's not up for discussion.

Dan: Just let her. She's just as stubborn as we are. We'll spend more time on pointless arguments than on the mission itself.

Danny: I hate it when you're right.

Dani: Now, should we tell Jazz about our weekend or? Danny: Good question.

~~~~~~ Jazz: Where are you guys going? Danny: To commit murder. Nothing brings families together faster, you know? Want to come with us? Jazz: Haha, very funny. Take me a burger on the way home. Dani: Okay. Dan: Oh, she's gonna kill us.

[iamasimperyk]

Jealous -Rafe Cameron

Summary: You are Rafe's younger girlfriend and he introduces you to his family.

Warnings: Age gap, fluff, angst, judgy people, English is not my first language, not proofread

Pairing: Older!Rafe x Younger!Reader

A.N; I honestly don't know what this is. I had an idea but somehow, I couldn't find the right words to make it really work.

Your parents introduced him to you at Midsummers. Rafe Cameron, son of Ward Cameron and new owner of every one of his father's companies. 

The first time his eyes found yours, he knew he had to have you, and you were naive enough to fall for his charm. He was almost ten years older than you, and for the first time in your life, you felt safe. You knew Rafe cared for you, always wanting what was best for you. 

"Don't you think it's too much?" You asked Rafe, wearing a fancy dress he just bought and all kinds of expensive jewellery he gifted you whenever he had the chance. 

Rafe looked at you, all dolled up for him. He loved it, and he loved to show you off, "You look amazing, darling. Everybody will be jealous that I get to call you mine."

Rafe's family decided to throw a party when they learned that Rafe finally found a girlfriend. You were excited to meet everyone since Rafe has met every person in your family.

"I just hope they like me," You smiled up at him, your eyes shining brightly.

He cupped your face with his hands, kissing your forehead, "I am going to marry you one day, no matter what they say."

You didn't say anything, but Rafe knew what you thought. Quickly, you reached up and kissed him before you ran back into the bathroom.

----

When the two of you arrived, everybody stared at you. Rafe wrapped his arm around you and started to introduce you to his family members. 

After an hour of talking, you excused yourself, trying to find the toilet, when you heard a group of women talking about you.

"I mean, is she even legal yet?" One of them laughed.

"I bet she is just with him because he is rich. She will never have to lift a finger since he already owns a fortune." Another one answered, shaking her head.

The whole group let out a laugh, "She will probably be pregnant soon, so he is tied to her and won't leave her again."

You didn't want to hear another of their theories and walked back to Rafe as fast as possible.

When Rafe saw you, his face immediately softened, and he wrapped his arm around your waist once again. One of the things he always did was touch you in some way. He needed to feel you to make sure you are still here.

"Are you okay, love?" Rafe asked as soon as he saw your facial expression.

You nodded, "Of course, I am fine, don't worry."

Rafe turned his attention back to his sister, whom he had previously talked to, "Would you excuse us."

Before she could answer, he pulled you into an empty room, waiting for you to start talking.

You couldn't keep your face straight anymore, and your eyes filled with tears. 

Rafe felt angry, frustrated and helpless as he saw you crying. Someone dared hurt his precious girl. 

"Darling, please tell me what happened," Rafe said, hugging you tightly while stroking your hair.

After a few more minutes, you calmed down and told Rafe about the conversation you listened to.

"Fuck them. They are jealous because they are not as beautiful as you and were at least married twice." He rolled his eyes, still fuming on the inside.

Rafe took you home immediately after your conversation and showed you just how much he loved you. 

Maybe you were younger than him, but you were one of the most mature people he ever met.

[hiraethwrote]

just come home pt. 2 - satoru gojo

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[satoru gojo - f!reader] ✧ summary: dealing with the breakup has been hard for the both of you, and it doesn't help when your randomly bump into each other ✧ cw: angst, some fluff, denial, slight intoxication, somewhat proofread ✧ word count: 3.6k

part 1 - part 2 - part 3

⋆⭒˚｡⋆

35 days has passed since he had last seen you, let alone heard your voice and he never knew he could miss something so much. The first week after everything had went down, he had blown up your phone in hopes you two could talk it through. But he hadn’t been so lucky, as he was sent straight to voicemail every time.

He was dying to know how you were doing, wondering if you were as miserable without him as he found himself to be without you. Every time he stepped into the abandoned apartment, the scene of you leaving him played over and over in his head. It wasn’t until your friend had picked up all your stuff he realised how imprinted you were in the apartment. It didn’t feel like home to him anymore.

The apartment was, in theory, Satoru’s. In the beginning, you spent the night every now and then. But the relationship was just so intense, quickly escalating to spending the night, every night. Eventually you both figured it was just better you moved in, so you wouldn’t have to travel in between places for small necessities. As time went on, your stuff and decor brought new life to the place, something he had wanted for a long time but never taken the time to do. But now every trace of your time in his apartment was erased and he couldn’t stand being there.

“She’s not telling me anything, Satoru,” Suguru sighed as he was continuously begging him to spill whatever he had heard from you. Throughout your relationship, it was only natural for you to get to know his friends. Therefore, Suguru had reached out to you once he learned what had happened. But much to Satoru’s dismay, you gave short replies, only answering out of pure politeness.

“She’s a chatty person, I find it hard to believe she’s sending you one-word texts.”

With a sigh, Suguru threw his phone at him, taking Satoru by surprise. “Have a look for yourself.” Suguru didn’t have to ask him twice as he instantly entered the texts exchanged between the two of you. Not only did you answer shortly, but you took your sweet time sending any form of reply. But once he saw the last message he had received from you was yesterday, his heart did a small jump. It was the first sign he’d seen himself that you were even alive.

y/n: doing fine. hope you have a nice weekend too :)

His eyes kept staring at the small screen, fighting the urge to start typing anything just to be in contact with you. After a while, he reluctantly handed the phone back to Suguru.

“Happy now?” Suguru asked, earning him a cold glare from Satoru. “If I’m gonna be honest, I thought the two of you had been having issues for a while.” His glare instantly softened and his entire demeanour had changed into one of pure sadness.

“Come again?”

“You can’t be serious, Satoru?” Suguru asked tauntingly, his voice dripping with disappointment. “You hate work. I thought the first time you volunteered to stay after a meeting, you guys had been fighting and you were just being petty.”

“I’m not petty,” Satoru raced to defend himself.

“That’s beside the point!” Suguru said, rolling his eyes. “You know how you can get. I thought you just wanted to piss her off, but it kept happening. I tried asking you about it, but you just brushed it off every time.”

“I’m telling you, we were fine. There were no issues!”

“You keep saying that, but something changed. Satoru, do you remember the last time Shoko or I begged you to shut up about her?” Now that Suguru mentioned it, Satoru began to think about what Suguru had said and realised he was making a point.

He felt as if his heart was breaking all over again, to hear how even his friends had managed to pick up on his blatant disregard for his girlfriend, but it had managed to slip right by him. And because of that, the image of you, choked with tears because of him was forever burned into his mind.

“I just really want her back!” He stuttered, clearly in despair which caught Suguru off guard. For all the times Satoru had explained the situation to his friends, he had never really let his emotions show to anyone. He kept all that locked up until he was sound in his bed, when he couldn’t keep it together anymore. Nearly every night since you’d left, he fell asleep crying.

“It’s not like you deserve it.”

Satoru scoffed. “I never meant for this to happen, Suguru." He really didn’t appreciate his closest friend going against him on the matter, even though he was fully aware it was what he deserved.

“I’m sure you didn’t,” his friend shrugged. “But it did. This is the bed you made, it’s time you lay in it.” Every word that left Suguru’s mouth was entirely true, and Satoru hated himself for it. Ever since he last saw you, he had tried to convince himself this wasn’t his fault, that there was no way for him to have seen this coming. But every time he went down that road, he came to the same conclusion that he could have avoided it a hundred times over.

Satoru was definitely blaming himself enough, to the point where he was in no mood to sit there and listen to his friend spew statements of how badly he screwed up, so he got up from his seat and headed for the door.

“Where are you going?”

He didn’t even bother answering Suguru, as he slammed the door behind him as he left.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆

It had been the longest and most dreadful 35 days of your life. Luckily, your friend had been kind enough to open her home to you and put absolutely no pressure for you to leave anytime soon.

She’d been asleep when you came banging on her door in the middle of the night, extremely confused at first when you had just collapsed into a bundle of sobs on her living room floor. Once she’d wiped the sleep out of her eyes, she had managed to decipher your broken words into a coherent narrative about how you and Satoru had broken up.

The first week was definitely the worst, huddled up on her couch in a blanket, only getting up to go to the bathroom. She had provided you with whatever you needed; ice cream, movies and takeout. You name it, and she brought it.

You were thankful she’d just let you have some time to be a complete mess before being forced to deal with life again. So after the first week, she started to pull you out of you comfort zone in order for you to start a healing process. At first, she just had you help her cook dinner, then she brought you along to shop for groceries. Before you knew it, you found yourself doing your makeup again which seemed like a huge step. Finally you were putting in some effort in making yourself feel a little better. It felt like a breath of fresh air when you returned to a form of normalcy.

That didn’t mean it hurt any less. In the moments you found yourself thinking about your relationship — past relationship — the sadness struck you all over again, and it didn’t seem like it would fade away just yet. But it had at least become manageable, and it was nice falling asleep without sobbing to the point where you couldn’t breathe.

Finally, your progress had resulted in the first social outing since the breakup. Your friend had been invited to a barbecue, and she had begged for you to join her. After some convincing, you decided it would actually be nice to go out and meet some people and regain some of the social life you had lost.

That’s how you found yourself in the grocery store, trying to find anything to bring to the barbecue, not wanting to come empty handed. You stopped your search when you felt a pair of eyes staring at you. Turning to face the person, you immediately froze, your breath hitching in your throat.

A few feet from you, Satoru was standing, his mouth slightly hanging open. You felt your heart begin to race, banging against your chest like a hummingbird.

Time stood still as you both stared at each other, wondering who would be the one to break the ice first. Wrapping your arms around yourself in comfort, you tightened your grip to contain the overwhelming feelings filling your body.

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“You didn’t see his face, y/n. I mean, he has never been embarrassed like that before,” Satoru laughed. He had his arm tossed over your shoulders, while your arm was wrapped around his waist, stumbling down the deserted street. It was definitely not unlike the two of you to leave a party early, as you both much more preferred only each others company.

“Why didn’t you come and get me?” You whined. “I would have loved to see a girl get Suguru all flustered.”

“I mean, she was hot too. Way out of his league.” With the hand resting in his waist, you pinched hard.

“Watch it mister!” You growled, but in reality you were chocking back the drunk giggle that was bubbling up inside you. “If she was so hot, why don’t you go see if she wants to join you for the night.” You shrugged his arm off your shoulders, and released your grip on him. However, he was quick to grab ahold of your hand again and pulled you towards him so you collided with his chest.

“Oh, don’t be like that, pretty girl.” His voice was teasing you, clearly not taking your fake anger seriously. He wrapped one arm around your waist, making it impossible for you to pull away. The other hand grabbed your face before he began to place a bunch of kisses all over your face.

“Satoru!” You squealed in between giggles. Pressing your hands against his chest, you tried to push him away and get out of his grip, but to no prevail.

“What? You don’t want my kisses?” He pouted, loosening his grip, but you remained close to him. “Maybe that girl is interested in them instead?.” His eyes were so soft as he looked down on you, a small genuine smile dancing on his lips. Even with his playful attitude, you had zero concern he would even consider going back to her.

“You’re a funny guy, aren’t you?” You hooked your arms around his neck, standing on your tiptoes leaning in closer.

“I think I'm hilarious.” Your nose brushed against his, your lips only an inch apart. His hot breath touched your skin, and his eyes travel your face.

“What makes you think she’d even go for you, darling?” His head fell back in laughter, as you flashed him a huge grin, still hanging on around his neck.

“Suguru’s a handsome guy. If I were her-“

“Shut up,” Satoru cut you off before he finally connected his lips with yours in a sweet and passionate kiss. The butterflies went wild as you felt him smile into the kiss. “Doesn’t matter anyway. You’re the only girl I have eyes for.” He said after he reluctantly pulled away.

“Keep it that way,” you giggled before pulling him in for another kiss.

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It was strange to see him again, and a new sensation of melancholy entertained you. From the second you’d left his apartment, you began to picture what it would be like to see him again. You imagined you’d be struck with the same sorrow of that night, only thinking of how he had been unable to provide for your needs. But you found yourself only thinking of the good memories you had shared with him. Every sweet affirmation, every gentle touch, just in general the time spent together.

“Hi,” you croaked, observing how his body was brought back to reality at the sound of your voice. He took a few steps closer and removed his signature sunglasses. Seeing his captivating eyes in person for the first time in so long made you tighten the grip around yourself even more, if that was even possible.

“Hey.” His voice didn’t have the same unease as yours, but it was visible on his stance he wasn’t as confident as he usually was. “What brings you here?”

“To the grocery store?”

“Yeah, what brings you to the grocery store?” Satoru repeated awkwardly, trying to play off his weak attempt to make small talk, his cheeks turning to a faded shade of pink.

“Well, I’m going to a barbecue party so just wanted to bring something.”

“Barbecue party. Fun!”

Seeing you again was overwhelming for him as well, and created a twinge of hurt within him. You looked so different from the last time he saw you. There was a hint of a glow in you he hadn’t seen in a long time, and it hit him again that he was the one who had smothered that glow in you in the first place.

Satoru knew he couldn’t continue to lie to himself much longer, and seeing you again was what made him realise that. Right now, looking at you wearing a cute summer dress, looking absolutely stunning, he saw the extreme contrast in your person compared to a month ago. He finally had a clear visual of how his ignorance had truly damaged you, when time away from him had brought a new form of life into you.

What was even worse, was how he could still see the love you had for him in your eyes. From the moment you had gotten together, one could never have doubted the fact that you loved Satoru Gojo. And you’re unwavering love for him had made him feel so safe and seen, like he’d never experienced before. Which was probably the reason he’d let everything get to this point. He knew your feelings for him wouldn’t change if he stayed late a few times, because you never hesitated to show your affection. He just took it for granted he did the same. To him, it wasn’t a question if he was entirely devoted to you, since he was so adamant that he was willing to do absolutely anything for you. He just sort of figured he had given you the same reassurance he’d received. But looking back, he could clearly see that wasn’t the case.

“I hope it’ll be,” you said with a weak smile and his heart fluttered instantly.

“I thought you weren’t big on barbecues though,” he dared chuckle a little.

“I'm not, but figured it was a good opportunity to meet some people.”

He so wanted to reach out his hand and cup your soft cheek, slowly stroking his thumb while his other hand intertwined with yours.

“How are you?” He blurted out, asking the question he had dreaded the answer to.

“Well, I’ve been better,” you stuttered. “But getting there I suppose. Taking it one day at a time. You?”

Whatever dumb thing he thought of answering, trying to conceal how broken he had been the past month, would do no good as you would see right through him. He simply shrugged, which was received by a compassionate, yet sad smile from you.

“You look great, by the way,” he gestured towards you, causing you to blush.

“Thank you,” you whispered, not able to peer your eyes off of him. He was still as gorgeous as ever, but he didn’t look the same. He clearly wasn’t sleeping well, dark circles under his eyes. Knowing him, he probably wasn’t eating well either. But his snow white hair fell the same way, and his eyes looked at you the way they always did. “I have to get going.”

“Wait-“ Satoru quickly interjected, stepping closer again so he was only standing two feet away from you. “Would you like to grab coffee or something sometime?” He sounded so unbelievably innocent, almost like a child as he made his suggestion. He anxiously waited for your answer, his shoulders tense with anticipation.

“I’m not sure that’s a good idea, Gojo.” He flinched ever so slightly at the use of his last name, something you’d never done in the span of your relationship. It created a new distance between the two of you that felt untouchable.

“Don’t you think we could both benefit from talking about everything? I mean, things ended very abruptly-“ he quickly shut up when your friend joined your side, pure fury written all over her.

His posture changed, immediately portraying more confident. He seemed now like the Satoru everyone knew, but you saw through his façade.

“Don’t you have anything better to do than torture this poor girl?”

“We were simply chatting.” Satoru tried to play it cool by flashing your friend a smug grin, but it only seemed to fuel the fire.

“Suddenly have time for her now?” He squinted at her comment, knowing it was more than called for. It didn’t stop the urge he had to fire back at her. “Hope your job promotes you, so it’s all worth it at least.”

“I don’t see how this concerns you,” he replied, trying to keep a considerate tone, but you knew better than to think it was genuine.

“It concerns me when she’s absolutely inconsolable, bawling her eyes out in my apartment.” Your friend didn’t need to go into further detail for him to get a pretty clear picture of the scene. He had, after all, been unfortunate enough to witness it himself.

“I just want a few words with y/n alone,” he said, a hint of desperation in his voice. Your friend was about to continue to argue, but you placed a hand on her shoulder, signaling for her to put down her pitchfork.

“It’s okay,” you took a deep breath. “Just wait by the register and I’ll be with you shortly.” She gave one last stern look in Satoru’s direction before doing as you requested.

Looking at Satoru, his cocky expression had disappeared the second your friend had turned a corner. It felt so bittersweet, seeing the kind person you knew inside out, standing before you so fragile. Old habits die hard, and you felt yourself fighting the urge to stroke his cheek and comfort him.

“Y/n, I just feel like there is a lot of stuff that we’ve left unsaid.” His calm, cool and collected manner had been thrown out the window and he resembled himself the evening of the breakup. “I never got to say my piece or apologise properly.”

“I know,” was all you said, using every fiber of your body to seem levelheaded. You observed how he constantly tried to reach out for you, but stopped himself every time out of respect.

“Believe me when I say, I truly am sorry. I’ve never regretted anything more.”

“I know,” you repeated, same calm tone.

“Maybe it would give us a chance to heal properly if everything is out in the open. So we both know exactly what the other is thinking.”

“Gojo-“

“No, please, listen. I know I messed up and I really want to fix this!” He rambled on, his desperation resembling the one from that night

“Gojo-“

“Maybe even there’s a chance for us-“

“Satoru,” you said sternly, finally silencing his tangent. Your eyes flickered between his as you saw him trying to find the focus to calm his breathing. “Please don’t make this harder than it needs to be.”

You saw the heartbreak wash over him, his shoulders falling in disappointment as he whispered your name. You’d missed hearing him speak it with such tender care.

“I am finally starting to get back on track. I’ve even started looking for an apartment,” you said with a sad chuckle. You wanted to show him, and yourself, that you had gotten to the point that you could at least manage to not completely breakdown when you were out in public. “I stand by what I said that night.”

“And you should! You deserve to be loved, and I can be that person. I am that person! There has never been a moment where I haven’t loved you.”

“Satoru, stop it.” You raised your voice slightly. “This is not the time or place for this.” It seemed as it wasn’t until now he was reminded of where you were standing. You gathered up the courage and walked up to him, carefully placing your hand on his cheek. The second you felt his cheek against your hand, you felt as if your skin was on fire.

Satoru didn't hesitate eitherm to place his big hand over yours as hea leaned into your touch. His eyes became glossy, realising how much he had craved feeling your skin against him again. “I just think I need to be the most important person in my life for a while.” He slowly began to nod in agreement, and you heard his breath began to quicken like it had done previously.

He licked his lips, trying to find his words. “See you around then?” His voice was unsteady and his chin quivered.

“Yeah, probably,” you spoke sadly. You let your hand fall from his face, but he held onto your hand until you were too far away. In a way, it felt as if both of you were aware that your story wasn’t over just yet. Satoru was right, there was a lot of stuff still left out in the open which made you believe there were still chapters to be written, whether they were good or bad. But it brought you some form of comfort.

Drying the single tear that had fallen from your eye, you turned away and began to walk away. “You look beautiful, darling,” he said, making your head turn one last time. You gave him a sad smile before he disappeared out of view.

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tags: @alisstaa

a/n: oh my, thank you guys so much for all the positive feedback on part one. it is greatly appreciated and really motivates me to write. that being said, i am not as happy with part two as part one but i rewrote it like two times and i guess it's alright. its more important you like it rather than i. hope you guys like it, and again thank you guys so so much for the feedback. reblogs, comments are greatly valued

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